i'll sleep when i'm dead

in a general state of overdrive. writing lots. sometimes i even like what i'm writing, which is a bonus.

it seems that my creative times are later on in the evening. most of the time, while i'm drifting off to sleep. i've started keeping a notebook and pen by my bed. because if i don't write it down, i'm going to forget it. or it will make me stay up later trying to impress it into my memory. it's exhausting i tell you. i'll get into bed between 12 and 1, but won't actually fall asleep until 2 or 3. i fall asleep with my light on and my pen in my hand. sometimes i wish i could just tell my creative muse to SHUT THE HELL UP and LET ME GET SOME REST FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

spending a lot of time by myself out of necessity. not too much different for an introvert like me. but still getting in good times with friends here and there. otherwise, i don't know. i'd probably end up like famous recluses such as miss havisham from great expectations, howard hughes, citizen kane, or gollum. oh my precioussss thessssissss...

reason #3894 why california is the best place on earth

salsa bars. taquerias. delicious.

I love technology, always and forever - Kip Dynamite

i think i shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree.
what's that? see something a little off about that large tree?
that's because it's not a tree. it's a cell phone tower.
i don't know how to feel about this. the tower's been up for a few years and i drive by it all the time whenever i'm home. i guess i'm mostly amused. it's a small concession on the part of cell phone companies not to create more eyesores like this:

does it demonstrate a heart for the land? or a concern for the aesthetic? or just another glaring way that technology is encroaching on nature? or are we more dependent on cell phone towers than trees to survive? whatever. i don't know who came up with this camoflage idea.
here's a newer one. see if you can find it. they should put fake birds and squirrels in it too.


my recent humbling regarding technology involves how our wireless router in our house broke. jeff replaced it the next day. but i realized how much i'm addicted to checking my email. i was having withdrawals, sweating, my right index finger twitching involuntarily. and what happened after my 24 hiatus from the internet? 2 emails - one from j. crew and one from southwest airlines. quite humbling indeed. am i so important as to need to be constantly available to people. not so much.

and i am aware of the small degree of hypocrisy involved, as i am writing about this on my blog. i freely admit that i have a problem. that's the first of the 12 steps, right?

so it begins...

my final semester of grad school, lord willing.

fittingly, the rain has returned to drench everything as school starts. feeling exhilirated/jittery/anxious/excited/annoyed/terrified about everything. but in a good way. today i ran into my advisor, and we are meeting on thursday to begin working together on the thesis.
i asked what i should bring, and she asked, "well have you been writing?"
i, of course, lied. "well, a little."
and she said to bring it to the meeting. oh i'll bring it. bring it like crazy.

it's not that i don't have anything. i've got my ideas, but haven't written them out full length yet. it takes the powerful motivator of fear a deadline to get me to commit to paper. it's all good.

perhaps if i feel like giving y'all a sneak peak, i'll post some of it on here. not sure though. i like to keep my cards close. off to procrastinate some more until i really freak out.

all i can say is that my life is pretty plain

oh blind melon, that one hit wonder band of the early 90s with the dancing bee girl. all to refer to their song no rain and rejoice that it did not rain in vancouver and i have seen the sun for the past 2 days. although it would've been kind of cool to break that record of consecutive days of rain. oh well.

"... all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape ..."

nose to the grindstone

well, i'm back in vancouver. coincidentally, i feel some tightness in my chest, tension in my shoulders and my socks are damp. yep. definitely back in vancouver.

downers: rained for the 25th day in a row
upside: missed the first 24 days

on the road again...

heading from home in california to my other home in vancouver. tired of travelling.

i have so enjoyed seeing my friends here and tasting again what life is like in the bay area (and its mexican food, which kind of goes without saying). god has been merciful and caused the sun to shine on my face before i go somewhere that has seen rain for the LAST 24 DAYS IN A ROW. what the hell is that? i should pack my scuba gear. though i am looking forward to my own bed and seing wonderful friends.

how can my heart belong to so many different places? not sure if it's supposed to be like this. or if i will always feel this way until heaven. at least i won't have to while away time in airports.

in the meantime, i am thankful for places that feel like home, raining or no.

ego boost

achieving some kind of rock star status with old friends. it feels good. they of course are rock stars to me also.

out of office...

walking on sunshine. woo! and it's startin' to feel good.

kicking it

well, back in the 'ville. it's sunny and that's amazing (it was mostly sunny in dc too actually. that was also amazing). back to hanging with the bro (the other one is in prague now, devising ways to force people to consume more and more each day), reading in the coffee shop with big comfy chairs and good lighting and catching up with people here and there.

contemplating the upcoming year, and all the change it will likely entail. good and hard at the same time. such is life. at this point, i also like to consider where i have been. this time last year, i was here and i was doing that. and the year before i was doing this, and why in the world did i think that. the year before that, i really can't belive i wore that or i hung out with so and so. that kind of thing ... i find it helpful to see how i have grown and changed. sometimes i feel so stuck in my own skin and many neuroses that i think i'm still as awkward as a junior higher. and it's nice to realize that that's not the case (at least, it's not ALWAYS the case).

well, i'm going to start doing some school reading now because i am a huge nerd and am afraid of being crushed under the weight of my thesis. toodles.

in limbo

passing the time in the phoenix airport between flights. i'm mainly people watching and being happy that there's free wireless because i am utterly shackled to technology. perhaps this is something to consider for a new year's resolution. besides starting smoking so that i fill my resolution to quit smoking.

break time has been a good mix of the busy-ness of general holidy craziness, being with family, visiting with friends and vegging out in front of the tv. flew the friendly skies a lot and rang in the new year on the east coast. thankfully, all travel has been safe if not uneventful (missing that flight a while back and then this time my bag not being returned to me until the next evening. i was about to go buy some clothes at walmart.)

now going back home to practice zen breathing to prepare me for the insanity of next semester and writing a thesis. once i've caught up on sleep and figured out which time zone i'm in again i shall regale you (all 4 of you that check this blog obsessively, i know you're out there) with zany stories and thoughts. in the meantime, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

you can't go home again...

but you can always go out to the hometown bar during the holidays and have awkward conversations with people you used to go to grade/middle/high school with.
alcohol helps.

home at last

currently sitting in my car outside someone's house and leeching the wireless connection. my sad geeky compulsions know no bounds. i'm home finally after the great midwestern oddyssey. it was good times but i'm glad to be home and not crammed into a tiny car or on a plane.

i hung out with my brother in chicago and we shopped and ate our way around downtown. sampled some deep fried twinkies. they were amazing.

then i met up with dave and steve and we drove to st. louis for nate and jen's wedding extravaganza. it was fun to be with friends and have no responsibility besides showing up at the wedding. many laughs and drinks consumed.

we stayed at this trip of a hotel where the reception was held. themed suites, and an overall medieval theme. this was in the lounge.


the trip home was eventful. we tried to get an early start and leave st. louis by 8. but then DW locked the keys out of the car and we were delayed by 45 minute or so. after AAA came, we folded ourselves into the car full of our stuff and DW drove like a madman to chicago. dave and i both had flights at 2:45. except his was at midway and mine was at o'hare. we dropped dave off first and then DW did a mean nascar impersonation to o'hare but i just missed my flight. i didn't really care, i thought i'd just get on a later flight, but then the check in lady said i had to fly standby. that's when i almost flipped out because i wasn't guaranteed to be home that day. but i made it on both flights (layover in minneapolis) and got home at midnight. too many hours of travelling. i'm still stiff.

best thing ever

smart wool socks. cozy warm.

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

done and done. stick a fork in me.
wahoo!
after i turned in my last paper, katie played the handel's hallelujah chorus loudly for me at the well cafe. it was quite triumphant and ecstatic. a proper way to signify the end of the semester.

now frantically cleaning and packing and running errands before i leave. in between all that, going out shortly for a beer with friends. another proper way to celebrate the end of the semester.

yay for vacations.

stay on target

sitting up too late, typing away at my computer. blech. wondering why i keep doing this to myself.

eyes on the prize: getting to see my brother in a few days in chicago, road tripping with pals, going to a wedding of two fabulous people (which is always fun), being in california again, sleeping in my bed, and christmas.

thinking about going on a coffee fast once this round of finals is over. time to purge the body of toxins. will replace them with beer. mmmmm... beer

almost there...

i turned in my last paper in, and only a take home final to go! hard for me to muster any energy for this. i just want t obe done. spoken like an upperclassman.
highlights of the week:
1. thesis proposal approved. this would be more exciting, but now i actually have to write my thesis. that's insane.
2. i paid dave a dollar to bear hug one of our profs upon hearing that his propsal was also approved. jeff threw down a dollar too. it was totally worth it to see him be surprised. wacky things like this need to happen more often at my school.
3. i saw the WORLD'S LARGEST GINGERBREAD MAN yesterday. it was AMAZING. you out there in cyberland are jealous, i know it. really, what could be better than an afternoon with lara katie and sienna looking at culinary masterpieces?

mmm.... giant cookie
lara and katie in awe before the sheer AWESOMENESS of the cookie.

some twisted gingerbread maker humor. note how gleeful the elf looks over his candied companion being dragged to his death.

sienna was unimpressed.

it's that time of year

hm... by my count, including high school, 4 years of college, and now during my 3rd year of grad school (including summer term and this semester), i have taken/written finals 23 times. i am a masochist.

anyway, signs that it's finals time:
- two other housemates and i have been hunched over our computers tonight.
- for the last newsletter issue this semester, i was so tired last night that i accidentaly sent the printers last week's issue, which they printed all over again. i had to frantically call them this afternoon, to see if they could do the right order in time for distributing it tomorrow.
- i have a 2500 word paper due tomorrow. i'm at 1,195. and i'm blogging.
acutally being at 1195 isn't so bad at 12:30. i'm going for slurpees.

dang

it's snowing again. crazy.
haven't left the house all day. a bunch of dear friends came over and we watched football all afternoon. it was glorious. it doesn't get much better than that.

ice ice baby

it has been a bad week for me, agility-wise.

damage report:

tuesday - cut left index finger with bread knife while slicing bread for our weekly soup lunch at school. lots of blood and whining.
wednesday - burnt arm on soup warmer while working at the coffee shop. more whining.
thursday - executed a cartoonlike fall on the ice while walking to school, both feet flew out from under me and my right knee taking the brunt of impact. bruising, and lots of cursing accompanied the whining.

i seem to go through these streaks of injury. last fall, i sprained my right hand playing soccer, majorly bruised my arm when i slipped on the icy steps behind my house, and gave myself a fat lip when i hit the goal post with my face, again during soccer. two of those happened in the same week, i can't remember which ones. these things might happen while i have a lot on my mind, school or life-wise. whatever.

as you can see, it snowed earlier this week. quite unusual this early or at all in vancouver. when i was greeted with this sight out my window that morning, i believe my words were, "what the heck?" the novelty wore off quickly, precisely at the point when i fell on the ice, a few days later. i do hope that it snows later this winter, because we've got an awesome/dangerous sledding hill at the park by our house. some things you just don't grow too old for, though your bones knit more slowly.

perhaps this is a more safe distance for me to enjoy snow. a pic from when i went to bowen island a few weeks ago.




surprisingly, i didn't injure myself at all playing ultimate. wait... no, i pulled my hamstring one week. never mind. we finished our season about a month ago. this is us during one of our playoff games. this was a tougher season, we just keep getting older, and the competition gets younger and faster. but we had a respectable season. lost in the quarter finals to the other regent team. that was a tough loss, a pretty even game, one of those that you know if you played again, we could've won. oh well, coulda, woulda, shoulda. there's always next season. in the meantime, i shall go into hibernation (wishful thinking).

and just because i have to keep including pictures of her because she's so dang cute, here's sienna again. she's so cute, i think she makes me better looking just because i'm holding her. she's the smallest, cutest, and drooliest housemate. i babysit, and i say that it's so lara and jeff can have a break, but i really just want to hang out with her. call me the filipino au pair. since the nanny workforce in vancouver is about 98% filipino, that's not so unusual.

you think i'd be done with my school work because i'm blogging again. actually, no. i'm back in fine procrastination form. woohoo!