i'm getting sick. and with one more youth group christmas event party, and the christmas holiday still to get through. not thrilled about this. i have a sore throat, which is the precursor to other symptoms. trying to head this off - today i ingested probably 5000% of my daily allowance of vitamin c, not to mention several large cups of tea. we'll see.
struggling a bit right now ... for lots of things - the usual things, meaning, connection, inspiration, perspective, bladebladebla. i've got this job that i'm sort of good at, but is not something i enjoy or really feel called to. there seems to be lukewarm support from all ends. a thankless task.
odd that so much of my attitude concerning this holiday is negative. i really could do without all the extra trappings of this time and get down to the essential truth of the time: which is jesus came here to be among us. this sacrifice of power, this unexpected gift, this incredible love - this is what i want to be dwelling in. not rude parents, rude kids, oblivious bosses, mind-numbing commutes, cost of living ... these suck my will to live, to be thankful, to be observant.
of course, it hasn't been all drained out of me, my humor still exists. a featured part of the evening tomorrow: christmas pinatas. also: try this game - go to dollar store. buy tacky baby jesus in the manger figurines. hide said baby jesus figurines around church for kids to find. name the game "find baby jesus." when other staff members express mock horror prior to this game hide all baby jesus figurines around their office as revenge.
but operating in my strengths say 50% of the time... that number just ain't big enough for me. prayers as i discern what comes next.
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