not exactly the safety dance, but still pretty cool.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo

i wish i was this guy.

improv

owing to the unscripted nature of my life thus far, i found myself wandering around the uc berkeley campus at 9:30 pm. the masses of young fresh faces wandering around in packs made me a) feel way old, and b) remember the stomach churning anxiety of moving in to the dorms/college life and the general anxiety that accompanies the beginning of every school year. [pause to consider if i would trade my long-term low grade anxiety of what to do with my life for the short but intense shock of facing another year of school - it's a toss-up right now]

it was funny to find myself in the college setting... i hadn't thought of it in quite a while, and i couldn't help but wonder what other people my age were doing at the same time. sleeping most likely. somehow i have managed to avoid the 9-5 rigamarole. while that has been good and i don't regret anything, not adhering to obvious "life script" of get a job, get married, buy a house, get a pet, have kids, buy minivan, etc. etc. has always kind of loomed in the background (and nothing is wrong with any of that stuff; i quite love all of my friends that are in these stages of life). you all know what i'm talking about in some form or another so i don't need to elaborate further.

why was i on the campus? not looking for a date you jerks. i was there to see one of my former youth group kids in her new digs as a college freshman the night before her first day of college. i saw the tiny dorm room, the high beds for storage space underneath, her desk, carefully selected posters, as well as her own shelves in the house fridge and cabinet, her very own jars of peanut butter and jelly. i forgot how exhilaratingly liberating that kind of thing was. maybe i'll drop off some mac and cheese as a housewarming gift. like a costco size box of it. she could store what doesn't fit on her kitchen shelf under her bed.

see, this kind of thing feels... right to me. the relationship. the conversation. the listening. the laughs. and perhaps that is the script for me. and that is where my wandering thoughts end.

ah, this whole unemployment thing makes me wax all philosophical and introspective. someone out there take me out for a beer.

how did i get here?

here i sit, under a blue california sky, unemployed and getting wireless for the price of an americano (decaf). the man across from me has a macbook too, but is employing the index-finger-only-hunt-and-peck style of typing. haven't seen anyone do that in a while. i suppose the kids i know find it archaic that i would actually spell out whole words while texting, so it's all relative.

i am again in the all-too-familiar state of transition. i am rather more at peace this time than the last time i was in this state. the time that passed in between showed me not to put so much weight or meaning on current life circumstances or spending a lot of time wondering if THIS WAS THE RIGHT CALLING OR PLACE OR OCCUPATION... that kind of thing, how everything seems to be in capital letters and i am stuck in lowercase and a tiny font. i like lowercase, and things are what they are.

i feel a tad more anchored in this geographical place, by the gravity of friendships and familiarity. it is tenuous still, like i am bouncing on the moon, but it's better than a vacuum.

moving trip, by the numbers

grovers successfully settled in america's vancouver: 3.5

meds to calm gus the dog: 4

caffeine consumed: 1 peet's medium vanilla latte, 1 starbucks double shot can, 1 diet coke (mat: large coffee, 7 diet cokes)

this american life podcasts: 5

radio lab podcasts: 2

off tune dashboard confessional singalongs: 1

flaming hay trucks in oregon: 1

hours stuck in traffic jam because of one flaming hay truck: 3

days of 100+ degree weather: 3

hours spent at powell's books: 1

books bought at powell's books: 12

regent friends seen: 4

overate: 4 times

temperature on last day in portland: 67 degrees, hallelujah

really good friends now far away from bay area: 3.5 ... but not too far, at least.

transition

head is spinning. will try to alleviate the dizziness by writing about it. but i'm not making any promises.
anyone want to revamp my resume and write some cover letters for me?

injured bad

i came across this tonight. i think i nearly busted a gut laughing with bw and aupps one day at the well counter. oh the good ol' days. classic.

changeover

it's time.

after many good years and travels with my trusty ol' nalgene bottle, the cancer-causing comments from everyone around me finally convinced me to retire it. i'm a pack rat and person that holds on to beloved t-shirts until they are practically disintegrating. so this was a little harder than i thought it would be. there are many good memories associated with this bottle. the first that comes to mind is the summer that katie and i decided to undertake "the water challenge" - consuming our recommended daily amount of 64 oz. of water during our 6-8 hour shift at the well; for the lack of anything better to do besides eat day old sandwiches and pastries. mostly we just had to go pee a lot. and we found it quite hilarious.

ring in a new era of the lime camelback "safe" water bottle! i'm sure in time, some other health hazard will be discovered with this new material. but i do love the smaller and lighter size. so now i have a sticker-less new bottle. anyone want to send me some to celebrate the new dynasty? perhaps something to show the geographical diversity of my friends/internet stalkers.