nation-wide

laughtrack is a little tiresome. but worth a chuckle. and its fun to talk like this guy.

"I'm no theologian. I don't know who or what God is. All I know is He's more powerful than Mom and Dad put together." - Lisa Simpson

the darndest things

two of the favorite things i have said this year:

during winter retreat, while watching the cutting edge.
kids: "what are they doing?"
me: "well, they're doing tequila shots." (main characters are celebrating getting into the olympics)
kids: "why are they doing that?"
me: "the salt and the lime are suppsed to make it 'taste good.' let me put it this way... you could drink tequila, or you could just hit yourself in the head with a hammer a bunch of times and it would be about the same and it would be cheaper."*
kids look puzzled.

*seriously, this advice i wish i'd gotten. perhaps it would reframe the partying discussion if we just show what people look and feel like when they're hungover.


during new orleans mission trip, while painting.
kid: "when you get married, are we invited to your wedding?"
me, without missing a beat: "sure."
kid walks away.
site supervisor: "is that happening soon?"
me: "i'm not even dating anyone right now." laughs.
kid comes back: "is there going to be an open bar at your wedding?"
me, puzzled, but again without missing a beat: "well, i'm not sure, yet, we're still picking out the centerpieces."
kid: "ok." walks away.

trials of life

check this. sparky here was discovered yesterday in my friend's car. when your croatian mechanic calls you up after changing the oil and says "there's a squirrel in your engine," it's not a figure of speech from his country. who knows how long he's been there. the mechanic tried to get him out, she called animal control, they sprayed him with a hose. no dice.

learned extroversion

well, time ticks on by pretty fast. suddenly it's like mid-april and spring has sprung here in the area. I'm sitting in a coffee shop listening to a down home genuine n'awlins radio station playing jazz and other southern music. it's not bad. apparently, it the french quarter festival this week.

that's one of the things i learned about the new orleans area - they love their parties. mardi gras is rather infamous, but don't let that be your only impression of the place. it's not all debauchery (great, what google searches will i show up on now?). it seems like there's a parade or party or festival, or something including all three. we were lucky to be there during the louisiana crawfish festival. i think the gator festival is going on right now. the jazz festival is later in may. and we all hope that there is a biscuit festival somewhere out there, because biscuits are goooood. pretty much all the food is good there. it must be all the butter an salt they use. i figure, if i live there, i'd quickly balloon up to 400 pounds then die shortly thereafter. but i would die happy.

speaking of butter, there was plenty to be found at waffle house. these places are more plentiful than starbucks in the south. we went here after our first full day of work. the girls, for some reason, really wanted chicken and waffles. i figured we'd find both there, even if it turned out to be just grilled chcken.

we pretty much took over the joint, as it was a slow night there. that's how we convinced our servers to come outside and take a picture with us. of course, it was my idea to boost someone on top of the sign. anyway, we lingered there for almost two hours, learning how to talk southern, and hearing their stories about life before and after katrina. people for the most part were overwhelmingly happy to be back HOME. people spend their whole lives in the parish. one of the servers, ashley, had given birth to her daughter 6 days before katrina, and had only spent one night at home before they evacuated. crazy. we had a good ol' time visiting with them. so much, that we came back again 2 nights later so we could hang out with them again and eat more chicken and waffles. and try cheesy grits. grits remain a mysterious substance to me.

i've got a river of life...

i know, i'm up late. it's a habit i can't seem to shake.

today was a good day. i seem to have that thought a little more often now, which is amazing. after a string of many bad days, wondering if i would ever feel any different ... i am thankful.

this morning's sermon was from ephesians 2:1-10, concerning the lavish grace of god, even in the face of our immense sin (perhaps because of it). put any words you can think of, the the two words in vs. 4 "but God..." cancel them out. on our own, we are empty and craven and broken, even with the best intentions. it is the grace of God that flows in and through us that gives us true life. the visual illustration of pouring water into a glass and over the brim, made me catch my breath... because for the first time in a long and empty feeling time time, i could feel God's grace. maybe because it was hot this morning in the sanctuary, but mostly because i have so craved grace and am so unable to give it to myself, i wanted to take the pitcher and pour it over my own head. like peter who demanded that jesus wash his hands and head as well as his feet.

Spring up, O well, within my soul!
Spring up, O well, and make me whole!
Spring up, O well, and give to me
That life abundantly.

pure genius

Garfield minus garfield. click on this link. you won't regret it.

"Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb."

feast of heaven

i've been sleeping a ton for the last few days. leading a trip takes a lot of energy. but i had a really great time last week, and so did everyone else, praise the lord. it's hard for me to figure out where to start in talking about my experience, beyond declaring that new orleans is awesome. so i'm gonna start with what everyone knows ... food. when i think about what heaven will be like, i think it'll be something like this lunch the James family brought us on our last day of working on their daughter's Dominesha's home. they brought us boiled crawfish, crabs, fried chicken, red beans & rice, corn on the cob, biscuits and shrimp. we ate and ate and talked and laughed and ate some more. we spent the whole afternoon visiting with each other, and the neighbor randy, swapping stories, learning how to properly crack open a crab. southern hospitality at it's finest.

in keeping with the theme, i will now list everything i ate.
for the first time:
boiled crawfish
boiled crab
cheesy grits
crawfish bread (a bread baked with crawfish and 4 kinds of cheese)
seafood okra gumbo
crawfish etouffe
crawfish pasta
crawfish beignets w/ remoulade sauce
(we were lucky enough to be there during the louisiana crawfish festival, we could walk to it from the church we stayed at)

classics:
fried chicken
shrimp po'boy (basically a fried shrimp sandwich, what could be better?)
red beans & rice
beignets w/ cafe au lait
waffles from the waffle house, a southern establishment
mexican hot chocolate in a waffle cone from the creole creamery (the spiciest ice cream i've ever had. amazing.)

southern food is damn good. i'd love to live in new orleans; i think i'd end up being 300 pounds. but i'd die happy, that's for sure. more on new orleans to come.

how i feel about new orleans

back to california tomorrow. but i have fallen in love with this place.

happy easter

he is risen indeed my friends. not that my posting on easter signals the resurrection of this blog. hah!

tomorrow i am going to new orleans with 7 kids and 3 other leaders. all female, so that will be interesting. we will be working with the st. bernard project. it's a rebuilding organization, helping people get back into their homes after hurricane katrina. it's almost been 2 1/2 years since the hurricane. people are still living in FEMA trailers, or elsewhere. besides the physical damage - 100% of the area was rendered uninhabitable, it was under 20 feet of water - this community, the st. bernard parish, was like "an oversized cheers bar" according to the founder. everyone knew each other. moving far away meant moving 20 minutes away to slidell. you knew your neighbors, often since childhood, and depended on them. katrina was a big double whammy. it will be good to be there, eat a lot of fried food, and get to know people's stories. and try to eat my weight in beignets, the french -style doughnut. i believe it is french for "fried doughy goodness." but don't quote me on that. anyway, prayers for the week - ranging from safety to keeping my arteries clear - would be very appreciated.

anyway, on my end, spring could not have arrived any sooner. curse me all you want, northern folk. this is why i keep returning to california. i'm wearing flip flops right now. my spirits have risen, even as freakin' daylight savings time give me sunshine but robs me of sleep. the past month or so has revealed depth of community and caring that had not been obvious to me before. the value of simple meal around a table in a warm home has just increased in even more value to me. it makes me curious to stay here longer and see what comes of these relationships. well, we'll see.

marshmallow art

the only acceptable use for peeps. certainly not for human consumption.

post #600

a brief hiatus is needed. this writer is not on strike (a joke that is probably well past timely). life has been hard.

sweet victory, or, when nerdiness pays off

Team "We're So Green That We Recycled The Name 'Ramrod' (after use, please compost)"
Originally uploaded by Moment of Inertia

pictured: Team "We're So Green That We Recycled The Name 'Ramrod' (after use, please compost)"

a bright spot in my week has been going to trivia night with my brother and some of his ex-coworkers. i pretty much laugh for 2 hours. anyway, we won the bonus round this week. a little bit over 160 buck between the 5 of us. it's good that we won, because the bigger the jackpot gets, the tenser the players get, which is no fun.

to win the money, we must answer all 3 bonus round questions correctly. two of them i knew right away - "Igby Goes Down" (what movie includes these actors ...?" and Alaska (what state flag has the big dipper in it?). the third we recalled from an old "got milk?" ad: Aaron Burr (what vice president, besides dick cheney, shot (and killed) another man? - that man, btw, was alexander hamilton) so it was a good night for me, and in turn, for all of us.

the other good things about this night include: lots of great obscure 80s-90s music to hear between rounds, a decent latte (great foam with the soy milk - impressive), a green business, and a cute baby girl that is fun to play with.

JACKPOT, BIOTCH

JACKPOT, BIOTCH
Originally uploaded by Moment of Inertia

i need to work on looking hardcore.

the hard thing about coming back from a retreat is that you have to come back from the retreat. alas.

rest stop

well, to celebrate my survival of the past weekend, i have spent the past 2 days in my pajamas. glorious. that doesn't mean i didn't leave the house; i did watch a 'blades of glory' with some kids, visited my spiritual director, and picked up a few books from church, all in my flannel pajama pants with penguins on them. i was never one to go around like that before, not even when i was in high school or college. i rather liked it. tonight i went to another kid's house to watch 'project runway'. interesting. not bad as far as reality shows go.

don't really know what to say about my time away. mostly i am thankful to God for carrying me through the weekend; and for the simple time of being together. the communal aspect did wonders for me; though i was pretty ready to go home on the last night when some girls decided to try to have a dance party in their room after i told them to go to bed. the walls in the place were VERY thin. i was already headed down the hallway to break things up when the music started up and they started singing. right when i got to the door, i heard someone say, "do you think she can hear us?" and i threw open the door and said "yes." they all screamed. any opportunity for me to seem omniscient, i'll take. silly kids.

my good friend cari talked about seeing God in the everyday, which is what i told her was my heart's desire for these kids to know when we were talking about the retreat. this is something that requires a shift in thinking for them; as it is still easy to confine God to Sunday and the church sanctuary. but i do hope and pray that God would become more real and immanent to them. seems an uphill battle, what with all the other distractions and pressures.

other than that, we played silly games. went to the snowpark for sledding and snowball fights. some people went skiing and snowboarding, and the rest of us slept and lazed around. these kids are so overscheduled that this down time is just what they need. i forced them to watch "so i married an axe murderer" (classic) and "the cutting edge" (painfully classic). my legacy shall be a deeper appreciation for odd 90s movies.

hard for me to say exactly what i can take from this weekend. deeper knowledge that God and friends are supporting me in this time. a better appreciation for me to see God in the everyday; i saw him at work in many ways through the last few days - through the laughter at the snow park, cooking together, the servant hearts of the adult advisors, sitting on a bed talking with a girl who was feeling sick eating clementine oranges & saltine crackers together, seeing an old friend meet the new world that i was in. and now... well we're all back to our regular soul-sucking routines. wondering how to carry a little corner of retreat in my heart.

back from the mountain

i'm back from our winter ski trip/retreat. good times. i don't know how i survive it, but i attribute a lot of it to the prayers of the people.
highlights in brief:
cooking and eating meals together
lots of snow on a beautiful sunny weekend
introducing kids to early 90s movies wonders: "so i married an axe murderer" and "the cutting edge"
inviting an old friend as the speaker and watching the kids fall in love with her
more details to come.

you're the meaning in my life, you're my inspiration

well, i met anne lamott. she shook my hand and asked what my name was. then she offered me and the women sitting around me weight watchers cookies. this was before the reading started, a benefit for the marin services for women, "A Healing Community for Women Recovering from Chemical Dependency". a delicious bakery had donated some amazing desserts, which made her offer all the more amusing.

it made my heart glad to be there, not just to hear anne, but also the stories of women who had come through the program. they, like anne, like many of the audience, were survivors. there is rebirth and healing and growth.

she read two essays from travelling mercies, the book i mentioned before. she also spoke briefly on the "6 things she knew for sure in life." one of them being: in the unique situation we find ourselves in, that we have each been given a human life, how shall we live? because in the grand scheme of things, it's really like an hour and a half, so if there's something you really love and want to do, don't waste your time. but don't start new things on saturdays. wait until monday.

also: be willing to do things badly. she and her boyfriend have been taking dance lessons for a while now. learning the foxtrot, the steps are: slow, slow, quick, quick. which apparently is difficult - they were dangerous to each other and the dance instructors had to stand between them and innocent bystanders.

all this was told in the earthy, humorous way that she communicates. i aspire to be as honest as her about life, and to be able to see things in a unique way.

afterward, i brought my copy of travelling mercies over to ask for her autograph - this the book that started it all for me, as it were. as i approached, i racked my brain to think of what i could say in the 15 second interaction that would be so scintillatingly witty that would make her immediately want to be best friends with me. instead, i simply thanked her for writing this book and how it changed me, in that i realized i could be a writer, and i could be a Christian, and not be cheesy about it. and that's the truth.

the book is still in the car, 3 days later. it's on my passenger seat; i like to look over at it when i'm driving. i guess it's sort of like she's there, but that sounds a little fan-stalker-i-stole-the-coffee-cup-you-drank-from. it's not like i have the seat belt buckled around the book, but it didn't seem right to me to take it home and put it back on the shelf. looking at it reminds me of a blue sky day that i sat before one of my heroes, ate brownies and laughed. it helps me remember that writing (and thinking) is important (not in a strictly utilitarian, self-important way, but more in that every flower in a field is important and valued). it is knowledge that i need these days.

hero worship

this book right here changed my life. i found this book way back in 2003, in the guest room i stayed in when i worked at a church. i was inspired by anne lamott's humor, her honesty and her faith. she inspired me to be a writer. and i get to see her in person tomorrow, for the first time ever. she's doing a reading to benefit a women's shelter. i am excited, at least, as excited as i can get these days. i hope i get to talk to her, even though i tend to get very tongue-tied in those situations.

art imitating life

Ash Wednesday was yesterday. Went to our evening service. This painting was on the front of the service bulletin, it's by an artist that's a member of the congregation. it's far too accurate to my mental/emotional state right now. each person was given some stones along with their ashes when they came in, representing our burdens/sin. when we came forward for communion, we gave the stones to the pastor who prayed over us before we took the bread and wine.



















her paintings are all over the church.
this one is in the congregational care office. it's pretty apt to how people feel when they come in. her website is here.



a blurb about her art:

works in acrylic on canvas and wood panels from her studio in Oakland, California. Her figurative paintings are emotionally-charged narrative fragments infused with mysterious tension and secrecy. She often places her figures in precarious environments where anything could happen. Sometimes celebratory, sometimes lonely and disturbing, her paintings express a wide range of human desire and yearning. Aust’s work consistently features strong and vibrant colors along with figures that are both engaging and vulnerable. Through her own private study she has been influenced by artists such as Emil Nolde, Marc Chagall, Kathe Kollwitz, and the German expressionists. Her work is represented in private collections throughout the United States.