how many babies can you fit in a tote bag?

answer: one. and it's pretty darn cute when you do.

here's one with lara, sienna's mom. it was her idea to do this.


this brings the kelley family photo count to:
sienna: 9
lara: 2
jeff: 2

i realize that i run the danger of only putting pictures of sienna here on the blog. it's hard to resist. plus i'm a total cheeseball.

baby, it's cold outside

yeah, definitely saw little snowflakes coming down while we played ultimate frisbee yesterday. my hands were so numb that i couldn't get them to work so i could put my hair into ponytails. we lost both games. bummer. but it was the first frisbee we'd played since last november. i like to play in the mud though. the cold, not so much.

that's just wrong.

on other fronts, it is reading break. i am amazed that i've made it this far into the semester. even while i am inundated with work, and my motivation/stamina wanes, i am wondering how to "finish well" at regent. the summer school brochures came out last week, and it was odd not to be picking out classes from it. in fact, i haven't even looked the thing over. it took me a while to become a student again, and now i am going to have to figure out how to be a regular person again soon. i have mixed feelings about this.

of course, i still have to graduate first, and there are many miles to go before i sleep.

on a personal level, i am wondering how to do the same thing with the relationships i have formed here. i have been mulling this over since the semester has begun and i have few answers. time is a fleeting thing. and i really hate goodbyes. sigh.

turtle fever

it's catching on everywhere. or at least its being forced on to children who have no way of defending themselves. someday she'll thank me.

turtle power

boys that are friends

this is my buddy dave. it was his 25th birthday yesterday. he sure is friendly looking, isn't he?

but get a few drinks in him and he likes to fight large animals.

this is steve and dave. it wasn't either of their birthdays but i didn't want them to feel left out. plus, singing in a piano bar to a room full off people ignoring them is what they like to do when they've had a few drinks in them. classic.

fatter-day night fever

Lisa: How do you feel? What's inside you right now?
Nelson: Guts... and black stuff... and about fifty Slim Jims.

the binging continues.
with lara and jeff, we consumed 36 hot wings of varying flavors, a "mighty" order of fries, a deep fried snickers bar, 3 nectarine ciders, a beer and salad (you know, because we're watching what we eat). community at its finest.
i'm going to pass out now.

mmmm... sleep

saw this poem quoted in an article by Lauren Winner, concerning sleep.

I don't like the man who doesn't sleep,
says God.
Sleep is the friend of man,
Sleep is the friend of God.
Sleep is perhaps the most beautiful thing
I have created.
And I myself rested on the seventh day. …
But they tell me that there are men
Who work well and sleep badly.
Who don't sleep. What a lack of
confidence in me.
- Charles Peguy, French poet

For the full article, which was eerily appropriate to my life at the moment, click here.

in deep...

i thought i was going to have a nervous breakdown yesterday. i blathered on about how i was this close to getting the assault rifle out, and actually told al (our custodian) "don't worry al, i'll kill you last." clearly delusional. because he is a wise man, al just laughed and gave me a hug. he is also bringing me a batch of his wife's cookies because of his own delusion that the seattle seahawks would win the super bowl.

if you ever want to know how long my attention span is for intense single-minded creativity before i start to lose my mind, it is approximately 1.5 months. i think i am now beginning to understand how one suffers for one's art. and also the statement that writing is easy, all you have to do is sit down and open a vein.

i haven't been sleeping, or eating well. i haven't seen anyone besides my housemates, really, lately. i've been writing or reading or writing or trying to sleep but staring at the ceiling, and writing. it makes for a weird kind of life. and it seemed to come to a head yesterday after being sick and finally tackling some harder things for me to write about. there are always tell-tale signs, that i was running myself into the ground. i was just choosing to ignore them until i had run myself into the ground.

luckily, or providentially, i have an observant and caring friend who made sure i ate a good meal (red burrito: 7 of 10 stars), bought me gelato and beer (consumed seperately), and made me go to sleep at 10:15 last night, whether i liked it or not. weird to realize how hard it is to let another person take care of me - i was too tired to put up any fight. an enforced sabbath evening. why, i almost feel like a human being again! instead of a remorseless killing machine.

the most funny part of the evening was getting gelato. upon discovering that they only took cash, i was left standing there with two large gelato cones while sara dashed home to get money. i sat in the window and morosely ate my frutti di bosco, even that activity was exhausting to me. i didn't realize how ridiculous i looked until this stranger asked me if i was hungry. it felt good to laugh.

it's back to the grindstone. but with a better perspective this time. and more awareness of when i'm lagging. and with greater appreciation of rest.

because i have nothing better to do...

see the worst thing about not being able to sleep is that it's just freaking boring.

so, here's 720 - another game that i loved when i was a kid that took away many of my quarters.
SKATE OR DIE! seriously, a swarm of bees that would come kill you? come on.

awake... sort of

apparently, some of the symptoms of my semi-illness are:
shortened attention span - have been unable to focus on studies.
mild narcolepsy - i slept from 6-9 pm this evening.

now i am wide awake, ridden with guilt and worry over school work. well not ridden. maybe semi-worried. or something. ugh. i hate feeling this way.

someone hit me over the head with something, please.

that is all.

sunday night, it's all right

feeling a cold or some kind of illness coming on. trying to fight it off. i think vitamin c is coming out of my pores.

i'm starting to forget what it's like to be with large groups of people. such is thesis mode. although i was walking home from school, after meeting with my advisor. as i thought over the meeting and the writing pieces we were working on, i was cracking myself up. that's a very good thing.

just a few more essays left! gotta dig deep to find the motivation and creativity.

one more video game nostalgia tidbit:
up up down down a b b a = 30 lives

correction:
up up down down left right left right a b b a = 30 lives

thanks alex.

game nostalgia

gauntlet, the game i was talking about yesterday.

on going bonkers...

1. yesterday i was so tired that when i went to check out some books and handed the librarian my bus pass instead of library card.

2. today, i caught myself humming "baby baby" by amy grant. I should be shot for this musical transgression.

audrey needs rest badly. (to be said in same tone as in 80s video game gauntlet, when the game says "warrior/elf/wizard/valkyrie needs food badly" that was one of the dumber games out there in that you LOST health points for fighting the baddies. but there was no way not to fight them. but a sure way to keep us kids feeding the quarters in. i feel so betrayed)

sigh...

i saw the sun yesterday and today.

life is good.

this is all i see...

waking or dreaming.


hello, thesis? you're kicking my ass. please stop.

super bowl

took 2 days off that i probably shouldn't have to go to seattle, hang out with old friends and watch the super bowl.

i'll be paying for it, but it was SO worth it.

a few of my favorite things...

favorite thing # 23:
hoodies. it's right up there with brothers.
here's me and one of the bros. we're tough. oh yes, we're tough.

where i am right now...

but just imagine that the tunnel is way longer. like really really long. like the chunnel long. and the light isn't so bright. or that i can see the light at all right now.
because ...
metaphorically: i am up to my eyeballs in thesis writing (nothing kills creativity or humor like anxiety can. unless i were to actually be killed somehow)
literally: i live in vancouver. and it was rainy and windy and cold and generally nasty today. blech.