a non-commuter life

well, i've barely been in my car this week, i walk twice a day because of the dog - i could get used to this. alas, my idea of "cost of living" and my employers idea of "cost of living" don't seem to match up. but in general, i don't know how people afford to live in this area. i digress...

it's not that i don't like dogs. but i took my sleepy eyed dog to the dog park this morning and another dog relentlessly tried to "have relations" with him the entire time. they took turns actually. i am reminded that i enjoy cats, and this is one of the reasons why.

i tried this soda today. besides the appearance resembling a cheap beer, inca cola was a pleasant surprise. it smells like bubble gum, and was a refreshing complement to my carne burrito. interestingly, this peruvian cola is one of the few beverages that outsells coca cola. those wacky peruvians. coca cola finally bought them out, which is a pity.

grey cup

the grey cup game was played today. saskatchewan rough riders vs. winnipeg blue bombers. the rough riders won. not that anyone in the states cares, or perhaps most of the people in canada. woo, canadian football league!

the last time i watched the grey cup, the bc lions were in it, and i watched the game in my friends' basement. we ate some crazy dip involving velveeta and chili. i also think my friend alec had to wear shades the whole time like ray charles because of his eye surgery. and the football was so bad, we had to watch an nfl game afterwards to remind us of how football was really played. i can't remember who won. those were the days.

keeping it real

these days i continue to wrestle with vocation and calling and the shape of life. you know, nothing big, really. i wonder when i will feel at home. there are glimpses here and there, and it makes me wonder what i can take or leave in a given situation. nothing quite like talking in such vague terms is there? meh.

this week, i'm taking care of a friend's sad-eyed dog & apartment, cutting my commute time to 5 minutes instead of 35. phenomenal. i might even walk to work one day just because i can.

last week, had a great conversation with the kids who are in the band that help lead the songs for the youth group. i asked them to read mary's song (Luke 1:46-56). which of course, they did not do. pressing on, i talked about how this was an expression of how mary felt about God, and what lyrics did they sing that reflected their feelings? it opened up a time of the kids saying that they couldn't sing a lot of songs because of their own doubt and insecurity and sometimes sadness. we told them a bit about psalms, and lamentations. so next week, we told them to bring in a song, any song, that reflected these things. i was excited about this conversation. maybe too much influence from regent, where we do love our lament there. but if this helps kids to see that they do belong in the church community, that they can tell God about how they really feel, than that's fine by me.

pursuit of trivia

the last few monday nights at a local cafe have become a fun past time. trivia night! friends out there know that i love me some trivia. the format is thus: teams of up to 6, 4 rounds, various themes/media involved in covering trivia of all genres. though in the third round, there is always: 1 Constitution question, and 1 famous redhead question. then in the bonus round, everyone throws down a dollar. 3 questions are asked and all 3 must be answered correctly in order to win the money. if no team gets it, then the pot rolls over to the next week. this past monday, my team (my brother and some of his friends), came within a hair of winning $315 (no one had won in a while). 3 teams actually got all 3 correct (if it had just been 2 that tied, we'd have split the cash). we'd won the regular 4 rounds - which got us free drinks, and some bragging rights. our team name (there's a winner for the best name each week) was "if you don't shop for jesus this friday, then the terrorists have already won."

i know, i'm totally geeking out right now. but there are lots of good laughs, and we try to be the team that heckles the host and hostess the most. pop culture references abound. it also helps that the coffee shop tries to be a good neighborhood coffee shop, with customers of the week and such. plus being green and having a zero-waste policy. and $3 beers (organic - they are so-so).

i don't mean to sound paranoid but...

i'm pretty sure my cat is plotting against me.

life in california

i know you northerners will hate me for posting this, but today i bought lemonade from a kid selling them in front of his house. i asked "isn't this a little late in the year for lemonade?" (not that it mattered, it was country time mix) he responded, "it's never too late for lemonade."

passing time

well... it's been a while since i wrote anything of substance on here. i find myself fighting the inexorable speed of the current of life here. it's too fast. a healthy dose of perspective was handed to me by a wise coworker in this conversation:
her: how's it going?
me: well... trying to keep up.
her: oh honey, you're always going to be trying to keep up.

and i had to laugh. well, i did, later. at that point in time i wasn't in much of a mood for laughing, but i did manage to take a deep breath and realize that if i missed something the entire universe was not going to collapse around me. i'm not that important. and that is a damn relief. it is hard to face our limits. at the same time, it is comforting to know them. then i don't have to live up to all the high expectations that get built up in my mind. stupid mind, it just gets me into trouble sometimes.

God walks 'slowly' because he is love. Love has its speed. It is a spiritual speed. It is a different kind of speed from the technological speed to which we are accustomed. It goes on in the depth of our life, wether we notice it or not, at three miles an hour. It is the speed we walk and therefore the speed the love of God walks.
-Three Mile an Hour God, Kosuke Koyama

this made my night

for us older folk not in the loop - the song is "crank dat" by soulja boy. original performers don't look like these ballet kids; as if you really need me to explain that little bit to you. the expression on the kid in the front cracks me up. y

life.

my back still hurts. everytime it starts to feel better, i push it just a little too much and then next morning i'm back where i started, popping a lot of advil.

tomorrow i'm teaching in sunday school on community. i feel a good bit of trepidation whenever i have to teach, mostly because i find all these biblical truths to be profound and complex and i get all tongue tied. i would much rather write about it. so we'll see how it goes.

i could use another retreat.

health and not so much wealth

so i got a physical and everything checks out fine. beyond the basic exercise more and eat better recommendations. that's good - i don't have like a heart murmur or a brain cloud (joe versus the volcano, anyone? an underrated tom hanks film) or have an unborn twin lodged somwhere in my body. however, that means my minor anxiety feelings are stress/emotionallly/mentally related. it doesn't suprise me, really. i'm just wondering how to deal with this now. besides the obvious and most tempting prospect of moving to any number of cities where good friends live and hanging out with them. i haven't ruled that out yet, though.

back from retreat

i would like to live in pt. reyes. population: 350.

my time at st. columba retreat center was far too short. i read, i slept, i prayed, i wrote. the retreat center - think rivendell but abut 20 years older and looks more like your grandma's house and less like pottery barn. but i had a desk at the window and a view of tomales bay.

i went into town to try out the bovine bakery, which my friend said was "to die for." man, she was not kidding. i got a cherry chocolate almond cookie and when bit into it i almost passed out because it was so good. damn.

i spent a lot of time asking god what the hell the he thought he was up to. he didn't really answer me, so i just kind of got tired of asking. i guess he'll answer when he feels like it. he is god, after all. my friend pointed out that i am like esther (an example cited by one of our speakers at the recent conference) chosen for "such a time as this." i also think of what the speaker said she prayed, which was "oh lord, please send someone else."

catching up...

well, friends, more to blog about. life happens at pace that i am finding increasingly unpalatable (that's a fancy shmancy way of saying that i don't like it). i long for a life sans a commute.

last weekend, however, i attended the conference at my church called "HIV & the Heart of God." it was very excellent. if i ever get my act together, i may post more extensive notes on the weekend. maybe. don't hold your breath. the speakers were from india, uganda, malawi, egypt, and malaysia. not often that there is a lineup from these geographical locations. my heart was broken in new ways. then my head almost exploded when i tried to encourage kids to attend the morning seminars in lieu of our regular sunday school program. i was met with poor lies like "we are going to the bathroom first" which really meant "we are going to ditch this and go shopping instead." like i was an idiot or something. the general apathy filled me with rage. and yet... there were other kids that had spent the whole weekend at the conference and seemed genuinely engaged.

i am going on a personal retreat starting sunday. (pictured at right, st. columba church and retreat center) i have missed the regularity of this practice that i had in vancouver and at rivendell. i am incredibly excited about this. i'll let you know how this place is. the place comes highly recommended. and it comes at a very good time, as i have recently had a strange bout with some anxiety/caffeine overload. well the first day i felt anxious, it was because of the caffeine. the second day i didn't have any, and i still felt anxious. this is something new. and troublesome. it would help to know if this is emotional or something physical. the first option wouldn't really surprise me. i have a physical scheduled just to make sure all is kosher.

there was some other stuff too. i'm too sleepy to remember right now. until tomorrow...

and now for something totally nonsensical...