Thursday, March 30, 2006


hey world, check me out.

Monday, March 27, 2006

spring has sprung

the last few days have been blissfully unacademic. one could get used to this kind of life.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

1000 words

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

my moment of surreality

Yesterday, Sienna wouldn't eat the homemade baby food her mom made her. However, she will eat the store bought food with gusto, as you can see pictured here.

In an effort to convince Sienna of the quality of her personal brand of baby food, and inspire her to imitate her oh-so-cool auntie audrey, i sampled some pureed pears. lara even fed me some with a plastic baby spoon. i made 'mmm... good!" sounds.

sienna was unconvinced.

we are so weird.

Monday, March 20, 2006

it's go time

meeting with my advisor tomorrow. i'm bringing a draft of all my work with me.


surprisingly, i feel okay about it.
i could also be seriously deluded.
but hey, at least i'm having a good time.

Sunday, March 19, 2006


i borrowed 10 books about the philosophy of humor, the comic vision of the bible and so on last friday.

i haven't felt more unfunny in my life.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

one muse for sale. slighty used.

looking for new improved muse that works well under pressure. sense of humor a plus. work ethic required.


yesterday i got to hang out with sienna for the afternoon. always a privilege, never a chore. lara took the opportunity to get some of her own chores done.

we played with her toys and sat on my bed and looked out the window. she fell asleep when i was holding her. not wanting to wake her up, i gingerly lay down and she continued to sleep. it felt like it was the first time i sat still all semester. not just sitting still, but my anxious thoughts were stilled also. it was the favorite part of my day, maybe the whole week.

Friday, March 17, 2006

the artistic process

when the muse says, "no, not today." she really means it. don't piss her off.

Monday, March 13, 2006

roller coaster

my moods change so quickly these days.
i wonder if i am
a) crazy.
b) getting better at being more aware of my feelings.

hm. i think it's both.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

sore from my head to my toes.

my head hurts.
my whole body hurts actually.
for once, the ache is not from my studies, but from frisbee. at least it's a nice change of pace.

Friday, March 10, 2006

if you don't stop and look around, you might miss it

lots of life is happening right now. it's good; it's just that none of it is particularly easy to handle.

yesterday i was at the burger place across the street from my school. i was starving and stressed out. i wanted to escape the four walls of my school prison for a little while. i sat in the window soaking in the sun and tried to relax as i waited for my burger.

the two women at the next table weren't of the usual university/working crowd that populated the joint. they were older. the larger woman was wearing a huge pair of glasses, and an unflattering polyester maroon dress. her hair was pulled back in a severe bun. the other woman was in sweatpants and a windbreaker. her hair hung limply around her face. she had bright purple eyeshadow on, and had penciled on some crazy eyebrows. i thought, "how can people dress themselves like this? ugh." half the time i see awkward people my heart breaks for them and the other half of the time, i treat them with scorn. maybe it's more like 60-40. or 30-70.

i returned to my own troubled thoughts and spread out my papers across the table. i was exhausted and my head was so full of stuff though that i couldn't concentrate on the words. i mainly just stared out the window, brow furrowed.

when i retrieved my order and sat down to eat, i saw that the maroon lady was also looking out the window. her friend looked at her concernedly. "are you crying?" she continued to stare out the window. tears trickled out from under her glasses. i turned away, not wanting to eavesdrop. suddenly, my problems seemed smaller.

i finished my burger and stood up. i steeled myself to re-enter the fray of life. as i passed their table, the eyebrow lady looked up at me and touched my arm. "i just wanted to say 'good luck' to you."
"what?" i asked, startled.
"good luck on your school assignment. you look so worried." she smiled.
"oh... well, thank you!" i really meant it.

humbling. grace and peace come from unlikely places. can i keep my heart open to receive it when it is offered?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


this morning when i left for school it was snowing.
then it rained for a while.
then the sun came out in the afternoon.
then it hailed about 20 minutes ago.
now it's raining again.

for my thoughts on this, see previous post.
kind of wishing to be somewhere besides here.

Monday, March 06, 2006

geek alert

i have taken to playing online literati, a scrabble-type word game with my youngest brother david.
he's beaten me everytime so far, which is galling because 1) i hate losing 2) i'm pretty good at word games.
it's really pissing me off.

it's almost as bad as the christmas when he and i played super mario tennis on the nintendo 64 for three days and he beat me. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

that still makes me mad.


this post is dedicated to loyal and heretofore unknown blog reader gordon tisher. hi gordon!

your wife andrea is really cool.

any other readers want to make themselves known? i'll be nice to you.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

and another thing i like about vancouver is...

ultimate frisbee.

i learned how to play ultimate frisbee up here in vancouver. three years now of playing on an intramural team for regent against other ubc students. they are younger and faster and sometimes really hungover but still faster (i hate it when that happens).

i could barely throw a frisbee when i started. and i'm still kind of shaky at it, but it's been really fun to learn. and when it's not snowing, but a sunny afternoon, i could play it forever. i can catch though, and am perfectly willing to sacrifice my body on the hard ground going after the disc.

we won today. i got muddied up good and i like that.

Friday, March 03, 2006

things i like in vancouver

well, seeing as how i might not be a resident of vancouver for much longer, i thought i'd reflect on some things i have appreciated about this place that has been my home. we'll see if i make this a regular thing.

I appreciate the vancouver public transit.

i know, "public" and "transit" are practically dirty words in american vocabulary. at the very least they are associated with those poor saps who can't afford cars. this is especially true in california. i practically lived in my car there.

anyway, flashback to my first days as a resident of canada (if you've been watching as much veronica mars as i have, this is where we'd cue a flashy effect and everything would be backlight in a hazy blue light. veronica mars rocks. cue catchy theme music too while were at it.) back to the story. i'm fresh-faced and excited about my new digs. it's the second day of orientation and i am psyched to be at regent. after finishing my business at the bank, i walk out the door to the bus stop. a bus pulls up right away, while i am still about 30 feet away (or 18 meters. conversion is probably incorrect) i'm walking towards the bus, so i start to pick up the pace because i figure it would be rude to make them wait as i saunter up. as i break into an easy jog (so as to not appear overly anxious) i take two steps and trip on the uneven sidewalk by the roots of this tree.

i didn't just fall. I was in the midst of picking up my momentum so i went ass over tea kettle (or head over heels, whichever you prefer). and ended up in a sitting position somehow. i fell pretty hard. and in full view of most of the people on the bus. shaken, but not stirred, i stood up quickly and stepped onto the bus, flashing my bus pass. the bus driver asked, "are you okay?" i was mostly embarrassed, and I mumbled something about being more awake. I looked down at my right hand and saw that it was gashed up pretty good. "oops." i mumbled. i hadn't even felt it until i saw it.

i started to move to find a seat, but then the bus driver pulled out his backpack from behind the chair and unzipped a pocket. he pulled out a bandaid and an alcohol wipe. I started to thank him and held out my hand to take them from him. but he tore open the wipe and asked to see my hand. he examined my hand and began to gingerly swab it, removing the gravel bits in my cut. i started to protest, as the passengers are just sitting there staring at me in silence. but he ignored me, and the fact that during this time 2 following buses had stopped and already pulled away. embarrassed by his kindness, and the many staring eyes, i shyly called out "sorry," to the rest of the bus. no response.

after a final push of pressure on the bleeding, the driver went on to put the bandaid for me. most of this transaction had taken place in silence. i thanked him again and sat down. and we drove to school.

i can't think of any other places that this would occur. certainly not in the places that i've lived before. i think it was a way for me to learn that i was in a good place.

reading week

reading week: it's never long enough.
work: it's always too much.

Thursday, March 02, 2006


before you keep reading you should know that there aren't any pictures of sienna in this post. both of her genetic contributors are in it though.

if you're wondering about the title, it's a dominoes term. say it with a tone of disgust, such as "OOOOH! Chickenfoot!" played an "old man" type of game the other night with housemates and friends. it was fun.

what makes everything more fun? crazy hats.
victory is made sweeter for lara in this furry mad bomber hat.
(these are my hats by the way. i own a lot of useless crap just for times like this)
(a christmas gift from my brother. apparently he thinks i live in the yukon)

jeff kelley: husband. father. patriot.
seen here singing "proud to be an american."
(this hat was from a gift exchange with my cousins. in case you can't see it, that's an eagle and american flag on the beanie. it was bought at a liquor store)