how i feel about this time of year

considering hibernation.

winter

the days have been long, and short on sunshine. i feel ground down by the pace, and am perpetually catching up. life seems overly complex. this is a prayer i wrote for sunday school one morning, slightly modified from a prayer i found in a book.

Thank you for the sun this morning, God. We thank you for the past few days of rain. There is no sound like rain - on the roof, on the ground, or in the trees. It is hard to be in the rain sometimes, in the grayness, in the dark, in the dampness - the rain keeps pounding down. Sometimes it feels that way in our lives - too many things come down on our heads, and it feels like we are being flooded, and that the storm will never end.

Help us to remember that storms pass; that the sun will come out again. Help us to see that rain brings life. Our mistakes cling to us like dirt. Let the rain wash away our sin, and make us new again. Thank you for hope and for second chances. Thank you for the ways that our lives our nourished, both in the sun and in the rain, God. Amen

say what?

we're doing a short series on sex & sexuality at church. i had to teach a 2 weeks ago. imagine my joy. my opening line: "sex is a touchy subject ... wait, what?" (pause for laughs)

something i like

the scritchy sound that new corduroy pants make when you walk.

i made a potato leek soup tonight. it looked like dirty water and tasted about the same. sigh.

my cup runneth over

... but not really in a good way. last week was one of those weeks in ministry that was chock full of overly long work days. i slept for 10 hours last night. it was amazing. some people seem to thrive on schedules like this. i don't understand how that can be the case; i kind of wanted to curl up and die. or at least sleep for a week. how do i make the space in my schedule to write when i'm either at work or exhausted?

on sunday i have to talk to a room full of teenagers about sex. as you might imagine, i am less than thrilled about this. mostly because, of the seeming futility of the task. i could talk for 20 minutes about a healthy biblical view of sexuality for say, 6 weeks. that doesn't even compare to however many messages kids get in probably 20 minutes of television.

on a distantly related note: i went to ikea the other day to get stuff for work. we spent an awesomely juvenile time there based on this imagined scenario: what if all the swedish names for stuff there were really profanities in that language? and sweden is just laughing at the rest of the world for buying "shithead" bookshelves or an "asshole" tv stand. try it the next time you go to ikea when you're trapped in the blasted store and can't find your way out.

mavericks

today, i went to at&t park and watched a live webcast of men riding 40 foot waves. the definition of insane. but also very cool at the same time. you know the thing about surfers? they all seem so happy. if i weren't a) a weak swimmer, b) afraid of swiming in the ocean, or c) even more afraid of sharks, then i'd consider surfing. i mean, i'm already a californian. may as well perpetrate the stereotype that we all surf to work.

if you're looking at the time stamp on this post, yeah, i'm still not sleeping. anyone got any suggestions how to get to sleep (at the right times) or what i can do in the wee hours of the morning?

is the glass is half empty or half full?

well, it's 2008. so far the most significant thing is that when i went out for dessert at my friend's restaurant, our waiter was also a model who is on the cover of the newest sharper image catalog. it was a brush with greatness, i tell you. he had a funny pink mark on his forehead and the story came out that it was a rug burn suffered on the losing end of a wrestling match on new year's eve. passed an agreeable evening shooting the breeze with the friendly barflies. good times. seems refreshingly uncomplicated to the chaos i will no doubt return to at my job. i don't know ... sometimes i feel more like i am living a christian life in simple conversation with these "unchurched" people over beers than i am when i am planning the onerous details for an event that kids only sign up for at the last minute when they haven't found anything else cooler to do, or putting kids to sleep on a sunday morning when i stumble over words in an attempt to teach. no no, it's not as bad as all that, and God's ways and thoughts are much higher than my ways and thoughts. try as i might to expand, my perspective remains woefully narrow. as for 2008 and beginning a new year, i remain unexcited and unispired, and i wonder, when did i become such a pessimist? sorry for the downer posts - i'm trying to turn things around.