begrudging

ok. so taking a nap on the lawn at union square on a 70 degree day in san francisco? doesn't suck.
like i said, i'm trying to rally to a positive outlook on life.

plan b

took a little field trip this morning with a friend. i've been wanting to do this for a while - we went to the church that anne lamott attends in marin city.

it's pretty much as she wrote - oh, she wasn't there, which was a little disappointing. we weren't going to accost her or anything. although we were hoping she would think us cool and invite us to have lunch with her.

it was nice to be at a small worship service that wasn't a slick production. i'm not saying the church i usually go to is like that (i guess the extreme end of the spectrum would be tv church), but larger services require more organization and some of the intimacy is lost. so it was good to be in a different setting.

not much to say beyond that - we hope to go again another time, when the regular pastor is there; she was on vacation. and of course maybe have an anne sighting. the guest preacher, provided some insights to the healing ministry of jesus (john 9) but also presented some thoughts on today's universal health care debate in such a way that would have really ticked off those of a more conservative stripe - and i agree with the need for health care reform! i don't find it helpful when jesus gets crammed into boxes - anywhere on the political spectrum.


~~friends out there - i'm kind of back to the drawing board regarding the whole job search. it is quite discouraging and frustrating. i am trying to rally. it's an uphill battle. so if you are inclined to send me some positive words, clever sarcasm, or want to share your hatred of cover letters - comment here, or email. it would mean a lot.

no excuses

been grumpy.

i think i'll move to australia

got knocked around a bit yesterday. am trying to regroup.

so, i applied to a job at the place i've been volunteering for almost a year. i found out yesterday that i didn't even make the cut to get a call for an interview. this was just minutes after one of the volunteer coordinators told me that she liked it when i was there because she had confidence in telling me what to do. needless to say, i was really surprised/disappointed. i have grown to love the people i see there and the community. next week, i will find out why/how i could be a better candidate. basically, i'm pretty bummed.

it was not the best thing to find out right before i headed to another interview. but i think i managed to rally and present myself well. friends ask me how it went, and i am so mixed up right now that i'm not sure. i mean, i didn't accidentally curse or punch the interviewer in the face - but i also didn't get offered the job on the spot. so it's somewhere in between there. i can see how i might be a good candidate, and where i would be weak. this is an organization that i would love to work for.

it's been a year, for those of you keeping score at home. a friend on facebook used the term "funemployment." which cracked me up. things are getting thin though. and how long can one wait in expectation? i know, i know ... a pretty damn long time. it's just hard - especially when i can't even get a stupid retail or food service job and the temp agency lady says it's really competitive even for stupid filing/data entry jobs. time to panhandle. or to make a name for myself in underground bareknuckle boxing circles.

stories to tell

i don't get all star-struck and giddy very often. but when i am face to face with one of my literary idols, my mind gets stuck on coming up with something witty to say in the 30 seconds of interaction i get with them that would make them want to be new best friends with me. fortunately, i realize how ridiculous that is, and i come to my senses before i make a gushing fool of myself. this here is dave eggers, who also wrote "a heartbreaking work of staggering genius," an amazing memoir that is equally poignant and humorous (plus he's got the cojones to give a book that title, even sarcastically). not only does he write a great book, but he then starts up a nonprofit, 826 Valencia, "dedicated to supporting students ages 6 to 18 with their writing skills, and to helping teachers get their students excited about the writing." I've seen some of the work they've done in the mission district and it has been amazing to see what the kids in their programs have created. He also founded mcsweeney's, an indie publishing house that produces great off-the-beaten-path kind of works. one of them being a book series called voice of witness, a "non-profit book series that empowers those most closely affected by contemporary social injustice. Using oral history as a foundation, the series depicts human rights crises around the world through the stories of the men and women who experience them." i may or may not have a bit of a crush on him. what's not to love?

i spotted this book when i was browsing in one of my many favorite indie bookstores (i like to torture myself since i can't/won't buy any of the books). it's his newest book:

When Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans, Abdulrahman Zeitoun (pronounced "Zay-toon"), a prosperous Syrian-American and father of four, chose to stay through the storm to protect his house and contracting business. In the days after, he traveled the flooded streets in a secondhand canoe, passing on supplies and helping those he could. But, on September 6, 2005, Zeitoun abruptly disappeared.

i haven't started the book yet, but what i gather is that he was detained by the US government without a trial. as i said, i don't get giddy very often, but i'm really looking forward to reading this book. when i spent time in new orleans post-katrina, i was shocked with how the government acted/didn't act during/after this disaster. i am eager to read a story about this, in a story-telling style that i love. read more about the author and the book here.

and that's how i broke my restriction (again - like i said, i am weak) on buying new books and ended up at moe's books last week for dave eggers' signing appearance (at least i held out on buying a copy until i got to the signing). at the front of the line, no less. i didn't know how that happened. i was just looking wistfully at the books on the shelves and there i was. i felt like a total nerd. which was totally fine with me.

dear job market,

you suck.


very sincerely,
audrey

it's the birthday of the man who founded the place i volunteer. "Father Alfred was the Franciscan Friar who founded St. Anthony’s on October 4th, 1950. Father Alfred wanted a place where hungry people could be served, be filled, and create community while breaking bread."

sigh

i'm currently sitting in the lounge at the honda dealer, listening to huey lewis and the news songs being played at an unacceptable volume at this point in the morning and drinking bad coffee. non-dairy creamer powder is a disturbing substance. (love shack by the b-52s just came on. i find this a tad more acceptable, but still a little too loud - oh my god, i turned 33 and became a crotchey old lady that is sensitive to noise. however, i did also snicker at using the word crotchety.)

anyhow, my brakes are getting serviced. while i prefer to not die, it just hurts to spend this money, knowing a) i don't have a lot of cash, and b) my parents will help me out. it's a small matter of pride/responsibility - again with the being 33 years old thing.

considering selling whatever organs i have two of - cornea, kidney... um, lung? my unborn twin that i've been carrying around since birth? i'd sell my eggs, but that pesky age thing again, apparently i'm past the preferred expiration date. besides, a small version of me running around somewhere out there is kind of weird to think about.

btw, don't worry, if you know me, jokes are just how i deal with this - i'm not really that poverty-stricken. no one is every that happy to shell out cash for their car. now considering walking to denny's down the street to escape the godawful music. peace out.