Monday, June 06, 2005

home sweet home

the last few weeks have been spent pouring a lot of coffee, finishing up coaching crew, checking craigslist obsessively for free stuff, hitting up thrift stores, browsing at garage sales, and getting hand-me-down things from friends. our house is starting to seem more like a home, and that makes me happy. life has settled into a more manageable rhythm.

so i've been puttering around doing lots of little things. it's been hard for me to sit still long enough for contemplation and i sorely need to. hopefully i can set aside some time before i start up with summer school.

at church yesterday, the sermon was about persecution - that it is something we all face as christians in one form or another, whether it be imprisonment or violence, or apathy. it is something good to remember. some bible verses were offered as pointers in how to deal with persecution, "do not be discouraged" and others along the same vein. and i was annoyed. because what if i am discouraged? does that make me a bad christian? as our lives go through the undulating highs and lows that is the human experience, there are going to be times when we are discouraged frustrated and cranky, or just outright angry. what then? how do these verses speak to us in the midst of that? as we undergo persecution, do we recognize just how hard it is to follow christ? or are we just supposed to put on our christian happy faces and pretend everything is okay?
all that to say, i'm not on the verge of giving up my faith or something like that, but i think i'm just continuing to discover and appreciate that life is much more nuanced and complex than we take the time to notice. and then sometimes life is breathtakingly simple. i don't know. just some haphazard thoughts...

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