Saturday, January 02, 2010

enchanted fairy land

well, happy freakin' new year!

my new employed lifestyle choice has me getting up pretty early in the morning, so i did not celebrate the new year with all the bells and whistles usually involved. did that mean i went to bed early? no. for the second year in a row, my brothers got me the video game call of duty for the xbox. a new and more realistically violent edition every year! i am somewhat ashamed of this inexplicable addiction to this game.

seriously, i'd consider myself a pacifist, except for when teenagers need a good hard punch on the arm. at the very least, it is fun to play with my brothers. back to my original point, i rang in the new year and the first two hours of 2010 by shooting russians and yelling at a tv screen. that's right. i played video games until 2 am. and then rolled to work on 5 hours of sleep. it's a good thing there's a lot of caffeine there. and that everyone else was too wrecked to start shopping in the morning.

i've realized that malls and major department stores are kind of like disneyland. the appearance and atmosphere are under tight control. music is piped in. everything is super shiny and clean. the fake street-like pathways to take in all the sights. fake greenery. and everyone working is dressed to the nines, happy to see you and ready to respond to your every whim. it is surreal. and after a while, overstimulating. most of the time, after i am done working, i am seized by an unstoppable urge to take a nap.

since the mall area i work at is outdoors, the disney atmosphere is even more apropos. i've noticed the custodial people constantly sweeping the walkways of leaves and other trash, but i don't think anyone shopping even sees them. i also think the average age for the custodians is 65 years old. it makes my heart hurt. they remind me of the elderly people i see in the dining room for every week, people who have to work too freakin' hard just to get some food on the table. while i serve up java to an impeccably dressed man that proudly proclams he hasn't worked since 1968. TMI because i had just asked him if he was a store employee (for the discount on his beverage). i think he was bullshitting me, but still. there are also plenty of other customers that are bigger douchebags than he is. it's easy to guess who i'd rather spend time with.

the other day a homeless man said hi to me when i was in my car stopped at a red light. he started to tell me a joke about three strings that walk into a bar, but then the light changed and there were cars behind me. i was sad i didn't get to hear the whole joke. anyone know that one?


Anonymous said...

Three strings walked into a bar, and one ordered a beer. The bartender responded by saying, "We don't serve strings in here!" The second string asked for a beer, and the bartender repeated, "Didn't you hear me? We don't serve strings in here!" The third string disappeared for a moment, tied himself into a knot, frayed it, fluffed it at the ends and returned to the bar in his knot disguise. The bartender said, "Hey, we don't serve strings in here, and aren't you a string?"
The stringreplied, "No, I'm a frayed knot!"
Hope this helps, Stretch

mojo said...

this actually does make me feel a lot better. thanks, dude!