I went to a maundy thursday service last week. it was a tenebrae service, a meditation of scripture and music on holy week, up to good friday. Its kind of the opposite of a candlelight service. after each scripture reading, a candle is blown out. the service ends in darkness, with no dismissal. it is powerful, mournful and unsettling. i want to skip ahead to easter - actually i don't, really. at this point in my life, i find myself rather interested in the grief process, depression, pain, and so on. pre-easter kinds of things.
i am moved once again by the SPECTACULAR WRONGNESS of the execution of jesus, the physical pain that he endured, the emotional and spiritual anguish, and our own anger, jealousy, and deceit.
when i survey the wondrous cross ... sorrow and love flow mingled down ... demands my soul my life my all.
i don't get it ... it seems the more i explore and feel my own pain, the more joy and hope come to me also. the more i consider the pain and horror of jesus' death, the more meaningful the joy and celebration come Easter morning. and all the more joy when He comes again in glory. i long for that day.
of course i didn't think this at the time of the service. in fact, in the darkness and warmth of the chapel, i dozed off a little bit. puts me in the company of the disciples.