searching for rhythm

i hate the beginning of the school year. rather, the beginning of each semester. but mostly i hate september, and summer being over.

as much as i'd like to believe i am a spontaneous person, i like having a routine. i think it is having the routine in the first place that allows me to practice spontanaeity here and there. but to not have a rhythm to the week, to not know how to pace myself each day ... kind of wrecks me. the past two weeks, i've been going at a dead run, stopping here and there to pass out from exhaustion. getting better at knowing when i need my down time and how to take care of myself, so that's good.

it's funny comparing the shape of my life now to what it was like last year. i lived alone, and felt like ghost - no presence, no connection to anything or anyone. now i am up to my ears in people all the time, and am fairly visible to people as the newspaper editor (i don't think i'll ever get used to people recognizing me from stuff like that). if i go back farther in time to compare there are more striking differences. knowing your history is good - it helps show you that you are changing, and not so stuck being yourself all the time. even better is having friends over a long period of time to grow with and to encourage each other.

well, the whole cause of my frenzy - school - seems to be going well. taking 2 classes - intro to christian counselling, and the vocation of the artist (seminar class to prep for my arts thesis). the year will be good and challenging - a combination i love and hate at the same time.

oh, and now i'm totally addicted to coffee again. but when you work in a coffee shop and get it for free all the time, how can you not? i'll probably just be eating the beans soon.