Jesus Jesus, precious Jesus, O for grace to trust him more!
Friday, April 02, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
maundy thursday
so, in spite of the awkwardness of my last entry, i have been asked to read some scripture for this thursday's service. technically, i am part of the "drama team" though it is more reading than acting. thank goodness. because usually anything "drama"-related to church is pretty cheesy. this isn't so much. well, my part anyway. i'm just a narrator.
this will probably be the first and last time i am part of a "drama team."
this will probably be the first and last time i am part of a "drama team."
Monday, March 22, 2010
picture this...
i was asked to read scripture for last week's service. i've done it before, so now my palms don't get as sweaty from nerves. usually the scripture reader has their own mic, but this time i had to use the same mic as one of the singers. she, of course, is a taller than me.
i lower the mic towards me without incident, and i announce the scripture passage for that morning. then i realize that the music stand is actually directly in front of my face, between me and the congregation. i pause and lower it. so what you hear me say is something like this...
"today's scripture reading is John 15:1-12."
(pause to move stand down)
"now i can see all of you..."
(brief pause again)
"... uh, that wasn't part of it."
chuckles all around.
"ok, this is really it now... " read actual passage.
why am i so awkward? why do i enjoy it so much?
i lower the mic towards me without incident, and i announce the scripture passage for that morning. then i realize that the music stand is actually directly in front of my face, between me and the congregation. i pause and lower it. so what you hear me say is something like this...
"today's scripture reading is John 15:1-12."
(pause to move stand down)
"now i can see all of you..."
(brief pause again)
"... uh, that wasn't part of it."
chuckles all around.
"ok, this is really it now... " read actual passage.
why am i so awkward? why do i enjoy it so much?
Monday, March 08, 2010
bleh
sorry pals. life has been the same old routine. oh, i also got named COFFEE MONKEY of the month (february). i'm such a good little monkey. would you like an extra shot in that latte today?
Monday, February 22, 2010
21 jump street
conversation at work:
me: well, guess how old i am. i won't be offended.
co-worker: 19?
me: well, guess how old i am. i won't be offended.
co-worker: 19?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
oh, you
i volunteered at the dining room today. because of my part-time job (more on that in a sec), i try to go when i can. there are usually groups of high school kids volunteering as part of their religion class (if they go to a catholic school) or just community service (godless public schools. i kid, i kid). i like seeing how they interact with the people who eat in the dining room.
this one kid has several golden quotes, as he is one of those loudmouth types that just says whatever is on his mind. i alternated between laughing to myself and wanting to turn around and punch him in the face.
1. he spotted a cute girl in line for lunch and then proceeded to tell his friend the life he envisioned she had. "i bet she's 18 or 19, 20 at the most. she just likes living life and coming down here, and bring her friends too. she just likes living life and then is going to college in the fall. bla bla bla."
2. he looks around at the people lined up for lunch and declares, "you know i feel bad for them and all, but it's THEIR OWN FAULT." referring to the low-income/homeless situation they were in. i almost turned around and gave him an earful, but i realized that wouldn't change his mind. i probably also thought the same thing when i was his age, i just kept it to myself.
3. "MAN, WHAT TIME IS IT?" his friend points to the clock on the wall. "MAN, I CAN'T READ THAT!" he pulls his cell phone out of his pocket to get the time. i really hope he was joking on that one but i'm not sure.
when i was bussing tables, some airborne eggplant landed in my tray. i looked up and realized that an old lady at other end of the table had flung her undesired side dish my way. i thought that was kind of rude and got out of dodge before i became an eggplant backboard. i heard splat as i walked away, when i turned around i saw that he had just strewn the rest of the eggplant across the table. go figure.
anyway, not a whole lot else happening. just the regular stuff in life i guess. for me a walk on the wild side consists of wearing weird socks with my work uniform. socks are the only part of my work wear that are not specifically declared to be black. no one can see them since i am wearing long pants and standing behind a counter, but it makes me happy. i'm such a dork.
this one kid has several golden quotes, as he is one of those loudmouth types that just says whatever is on his mind. i alternated between laughing to myself and wanting to turn around and punch him in the face.
1. he spotted a cute girl in line for lunch and then proceeded to tell his friend the life he envisioned she had. "i bet she's 18 or 19, 20 at the most. she just likes living life and coming down here, and bring her friends too. she just likes living life and then is going to college in the fall. bla bla bla."
2. he looks around at the people lined up for lunch and declares, "you know i feel bad for them and all, but it's THEIR OWN FAULT." referring to the low-income/homeless situation they were in. i almost turned around and gave him an earful, but i realized that wouldn't change his mind. i probably also thought the same thing when i was his age, i just kept it to myself.
3. "MAN, WHAT TIME IS IT?" his friend points to the clock on the wall. "MAN, I CAN'T READ THAT!" he pulls his cell phone out of his pocket to get the time. i really hope he was joking on that one but i'm not sure.
when i was bussing tables, some airborne eggplant landed in my tray. i looked up and realized that an old lady at other end of the table had flung her undesired side dish my way. i thought that was kind of rude and got out of dodge before i became an eggplant backboard. i heard splat as i walked away, when i turned around i saw that he had just strewn the rest of the eggplant across the table. go figure.
anyway, not a whole lot else happening. just the regular stuff in life i guess. for me a walk on the wild side consists of wearing weird socks with my work uniform. socks are the only part of my work wear that are not specifically declared to be black. no one can see them since i am wearing long pants and standing behind a counter, but it makes me happy. i'm such a dork.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
the rigamarole
slacker blogger, that's me!
i also know you have been on the edge of your seats wondering what i would write about next. my blog gets more hits when i don't write than when i actually do put up an entry. i don't know what that means, really.
annual super bowl/karaoke weekend with my brother and his buddies.
my songs:
greatest love of all by whitney houston
time after time by cyndi lauper
lucky by britney spears
what's my age again? by blink 182
good times.
i also know you have been on the edge of your seats wondering what i would write about next. my blog gets more hits when i don't write than when i actually do put up an entry. i don't know what that means, really.
annual super bowl/karaoke weekend with my brother and his buddies.
my songs:
greatest love of all by whitney houston
time after time by cyndi lauper
lucky by britney spears
what's my age again? by blink 182
good times.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
speaking of faith
back in december, i was asked to become a deacon at my church. i was honored by the invitation, and accepted. while this brings my number of church-related activities to a somewhat concerning level, i am intrigued by the chance to serve others in a different way than i have before. and it falls in line with my intention of being with people at church outside of my own peer group (frankly, i find the people outside of my peer group a lot more interesting. there are exceptions, of course.)
so i get voted in at our annual general meeting in a few weeks. i had to write a statement of faith, and true to procrastination form, i just finished writing it - it was due earlier today. make the assignment 12 pages longer and throw in a late night run to 7-11 to mail it in, and it's just like regent days all over again. man, that makes me kind of want some of those 25 cent gummy candies you could pick and choose. or some all-dressed potato chips.
if you are so inclined, you can read what i wrote below. or you can just skip farther down and watch that chris farley el nino video in that last entry, because that still makes me laugh every time i see it.
so i get voted in at our annual general meeting in a few weeks. i had to write a statement of faith, and true to procrastination form, i just finished writing it - it was due earlier today. make the assignment 12 pages longer and throw in a late night run to 7-11 to mail it in, and it's just like regent days all over again. man, that makes me kind of want some of those 25 cent gummy candies you could pick and choose. or some all-dressed potato chips.
if you are so inclined, you can read what i wrote below. or you can just skip farther down and watch that chris farley el nino video in that last entry, because that still makes me laugh every time i see it.
I believe in the fellowship of the Trinity of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We have been invited into this fellowship; we were made for this. I believe that we chose to live our own way, and broke this relationship through sin.
I believe that God has never given up on us. He relentlessly pursues us with his love and grace. I believe that he has created everything in this world, and thus all is sacred, even in its ordinary-ness. I believe that he has passed this creative spirit on to us, as we bear his image, and we are intended to play a role in the inbreaking of His kingdom.
I believe in the incarnation of Jesus, in his humanity and divinity. I believe that he laughed, and that he cried. God sent him to restore creation and bring reconciliation. I believe that this has happened and is happening. I believe that heaven is coming here.
I believe in the everyday empowering work of the Holy Spirit. She is the great comforter and counselor, interceding for us with groans that words cannot express.
I believe that we, the church, are a broken people that are grieved by what grieves God. We are called to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. I believe in breaking bread together, and that our vocation is to practice hospitality and generosity and to remember what it means to be human.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain. puuuuuurple raaaaaaiiiin, puuuuuurple raaaaaaiiiin...
currently in rain-pocalypse '10 in california. thunder and lightning, oh my! it's an el nino year.
unlike other native californians, i find myself rather cheered by the rain. it reminds me of summers in dc, when i would get stuck in rainstorms whenever i had to go somewhere on my bike, and i'd wonder if i'd get hit by lightning. if i did, would the tires on my bike have grounded me? i don't know how that conductivity stuff works. if only i'd been an electrician, then a) i'd know and b) wouldn't be so hard up for cash.
where was i? the rain also reminds me of vancouver. and thinking of vancouver always makes me happy. i remember the first extended rain spell when i first moved up there lasted for 4 days or so. when the rain stopped, i wanted to run down the street out of happiness. then i got used to it, though i couldn't really shake the feeling of living underwater sometimes. and there was no cheery dance number involving a singing crab and dancing fish and calypso rhythms. if only...
unlike other native californians, i find myself rather cheered by the rain. it reminds me of summers in dc, when i would get stuck in rainstorms whenever i had to go somewhere on my bike, and i'd wonder if i'd get hit by lightning. if i did, would the tires on my bike have grounded me? i don't know how that conductivity stuff works. if only i'd been an electrician, then a) i'd know and b) wouldn't be so hard up for cash.
where was i? the rain also reminds me of vancouver. and thinking of vancouver always makes me happy. i remember the first extended rain spell when i first moved up there lasted for 4 days or so. when the rain stopped, i wanted to run down the street out of happiness. then i got used to it, though i couldn't really shake the feeling of living underwater sometimes. and there was no cheery dance number involving a singing crab and dancing fish and calypso rhythms. if only...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
missed connection
you: creative facial hair, nice smile, make an impeccable latte. me: armed with laptop and over-caffeinated. is it you or the coffee giving me jitters?
even if i am a barista again, i still spend a good amount of time in coffee shops. i focus better with a bit of hustle and bustle around me. it's good to see all the other people on their computers scraping the internet for a job. and, i've just realized, i also check out the male baristas. (full disclosure: though i am in a coffee shop right now, i am not typing this and staring at some guy. that would be creepy) hey, i'm no cougar (though i am of an age where could technically be one - hello college boys!), but i guess the scenery gets to me? hahaha! i think i just like men that are into creating a hospitable place. i guess. i don't really know. oh, and i really dig the tattoos.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
music flashback
just another opportunity to date myself and be an old fogey on a porch talking about the good ol' days before mp3s.
first tape ever owned: my parents bought me and my brother "thriller" by michael jackson and "color by numbers" by the culture club. i think a few months later, i unraveled the culture club tape because it was fun.
last tape bought: "electric youth" by debbie gibson. this did not happen in the 80's but about 4 years ago for 50 cents at a thrift store and given immediately to my friend rochelle. as far as i know, she played it once, and our friend margo almost ripped off her ears while we listened to it.
favorite tape: "nevermind" by nirvana. "smells like teen spirit" was a high school anthem. though i had no idea what i had to be so angry about. ah teen angst.
first cd: "dookie" by green day. an xmas present from my brother. i was confused by this until i opened the next present from my parents which was a discman. in the era where it had to be completely stationary and flat so that it wouldn't skip. still a pretty kick ass cd.
cd i regret buying: "cracked rear view" by hootie and the blowfish. i'm sure there are others, but this is the first one i thought of. in college, i also thought going to TGI Friday's was really fun. i also thought rusted root was going to be the next big band. then i realized being stoned helped listening to jam bands. not that i was ever stoned. no, really.
last cd bought: "volume 1" by she & him. i sort of love and hate zooey deschanel. she's cute and fun and a good singer. but really? her multiple talents make me jealous. anyway, it's a fun cd. volume 2 comes out in a few months.
weigh in: i've had this dilemma for a while - buy a song from itunes and thus don't contribute to the whole enviromental waste mess and maybe being more "green" (this is questionable); or buy the album from your local indie music store? i have usually opted for the later, but was wondering what people thought.
first tape ever owned: my parents bought me and my brother "thriller" by michael jackson and "color by numbers" by the culture club. i think a few months later, i unraveled the culture club tape because it was fun.
last tape bought: "electric youth" by debbie gibson. this did not happen in the 80's but about 4 years ago for 50 cents at a thrift store and given immediately to my friend rochelle. as far as i know, she played it once, and our friend margo almost ripped off her ears while we listened to it.
favorite tape: "nevermind" by nirvana. "smells like teen spirit" was a high school anthem. though i had no idea what i had to be so angry about. ah teen angst.
first cd: "dookie" by green day. an xmas present from my brother. i was confused by this until i opened the next present from my parents which was a discman. in the era where it had to be completely stationary and flat so that it wouldn't skip. still a pretty kick ass cd.
cd i regret buying: "cracked rear view" by hootie and the blowfish. i'm sure there are others, but this is the first one i thought of. in college, i also thought going to TGI Friday's was really fun. i also thought rusted root was going to be the next big band. then i realized being stoned helped listening to jam bands. not that i was ever stoned. no, really.
last cd bought: "volume 1" by she & him. i sort of love and hate zooey deschanel. she's cute and fun and a good singer. but really? her multiple talents make me jealous. anyway, it's a fun cd. volume 2 comes out in a few months.
weigh in: i've had this dilemma for a while - buy a song from itunes and thus don't contribute to the whole enviromental waste mess and maybe being more "green" (this is questionable); or buy the album from your local indie music store? i have usually opted for the later, but was wondering what people thought.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
money don't get everything it's true
well, it's been almost a month of wage slavery. it ain't bad. i mean, it could be better, but it could also be worse. i have some semblance of a schedule again, and i actually am tired out at the end of the day (but not too tired to play video games...).
even though i'm not making much, i already sense a shift in me and my money attitude. while jobless, my choices were limited. i used what little money i had for necessities (excluding my weakness for books); at the same time it was pretty liberating. i didn't care to shop, and didn't need to. now that i have a little influx of cash, i already find my eye wandering to purchasing things i think i "need", even when i already have other things like health insurance and dental care and car care and all that other grown up crap to worry about. money is indeed a master. i am trying to resist.
in other news: go get yourself a copy of the book thief by Markus Zusak. it's technically children's literature, but a good story is for everyone. and this is indeed a good story. some turns of phrase made me stop and say "wow." and i was incredibly moved by events in the story. it's haunting and beautiful. this is one purchase i definitely don't regret.
even though i'm not making much, i already sense a shift in me and my money attitude. while jobless, my choices were limited. i used what little money i had for necessities (excluding my weakness for books); at the same time it was pretty liberating. i didn't care to shop, and didn't need to. now that i have a little influx of cash, i already find my eye wandering to purchasing things i think i "need", even when i already have other things like health insurance and dental care and car care and all that other grown up crap to worry about. money is indeed a master. i am trying to resist.
in other news: go get yourself a copy of the book thief by Markus Zusak. it's technically children's literature, but a good story is for everyone. and this is indeed a good story. some turns of phrase made me stop and say "wow." and i was incredibly moved by events in the story. it's haunting and beautiful. this is one purchase i definitely don't regret.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
enchanted fairy land
well, happy freakin' new year!
my new employed lifestyle choice has me getting up pretty early in the morning, so i did not celebrate the new year with all the bells and whistles usually involved. did that mean i went to bed early? no. for the second year in a row, my brothers got me the video game call of duty for the xbox. a new and more realistically violent edition every year! i am somewhat ashamed of this inexplicable addiction to this game.
seriously, i'd consider myself a pacifist, except for when teenagers need a good hard punch on the arm. at the very least, it is fun to play with my brothers. back to my original point, i rang in the new year and the first two hours of 2010 by shooting russians and yelling at a tv screen. that's right. i played video games until 2 am. and then rolled to work on 5 hours of sleep. it's a good thing there's a lot of caffeine there. and that everyone else was too wrecked to start shopping in the morning.
i've realized that malls and major department stores are kind of like disneyland. the appearance and atmosphere are under tight control. music is piped in. everything is super shiny and clean. the fake street-like pathways to take in all the sights. fake greenery. and everyone working is dressed to the nines, happy to see you and ready to respond to your every whim. it is surreal. and after a while, overstimulating. most of the time, after i am done working, i am seized by an unstoppable urge to take a nap.
since the mall area i work at is outdoors, the disney atmosphere is even more apropos. i've noticed the custodial people constantly sweeping the walkways of leaves and other trash, but i don't think anyone shopping even sees them. i also think the average age for the custodians is 65 years old. it makes my heart hurt. they remind me of the elderly people i see in the dining room for every week, people who have to work too freakin' hard just to get some food on the table. while i serve up java to an impeccably dressed man that proudly proclams he hasn't worked since 1968. TMI because i had just asked him if he was a store employee (for the discount on his beverage). i think he was bullshitting me, but still. there are also plenty of other customers that are bigger douchebags than he is. it's easy to guess who i'd rather spend time with.
the other day a homeless man said hi to me when i was in my car stopped at a red light. he started to tell me a joke about three strings that walk into a bar, but then the light changed and there were cars behind me. i was sad i didn't get to hear the whole joke. anyone know that one?
my new employed lifestyle choice has me getting up pretty early in the morning, so i did not celebrate the new year with all the bells and whistles usually involved. did that mean i went to bed early? no. for the second year in a row, my brothers got me the video game call of duty for the xbox. a new and more realistically violent edition every year! i am somewhat ashamed of this inexplicable addiction to this game.
seriously, i'd consider myself a pacifist, except for when teenagers need a good hard punch on the arm. at the very least, it is fun to play with my brothers. back to my original point, i rang in the new year and the first two hours of 2010 by shooting russians and yelling at a tv screen. that's right. i played video games until 2 am. and then rolled to work on 5 hours of sleep. it's a good thing there's a lot of caffeine there. and that everyone else was too wrecked to start shopping in the morning.
i've realized that malls and major department stores are kind of like disneyland. the appearance and atmosphere are under tight control. music is piped in. everything is super shiny and clean. the fake street-like pathways to take in all the sights. fake greenery. and everyone working is dressed to the nines, happy to see you and ready to respond to your every whim. it is surreal. and after a while, overstimulating. most of the time, after i am done working, i am seized by an unstoppable urge to take a nap.
since the mall area i work at is outdoors, the disney atmosphere is even more apropos. i've noticed the custodial people constantly sweeping the walkways of leaves and other trash, but i don't think anyone shopping even sees them. i also think the average age for the custodians is 65 years old. it makes my heart hurt. they remind me of the elderly people i see in the dining room for every week, people who have to work too freakin' hard just to get some food on the table. while i serve up java to an impeccably dressed man that proudly proclams he hasn't worked since 1968. TMI because i had just asked him if he was a store employee (for the discount on his beverage). i think he was bullshitting me, but still. there are also plenty of other customers that are bigger douchebags than he is. it's easy to guess who i'd rather spend time with.
the other day a homeless man said hi to me when i was in my car stopped at a red light. he started to tell me a joke about three strings that walk into a bar, but then the light changed and there were cars behind me. i was sad i didn't get to hear the whole joke. anyone know that one?
Monday, December 28, 2009
a recap
awesome: having a paycheck again
not awesome: working in a large retail center during the holiday shopping season
awesome: free coffee beverages and cheap food
awesome: playing kickball with the cousins on christmas day (lost by one run!)
not awesome: having one of those cousins give you the ped egg for a christmas present and not 'fess up to it. stupid gift exchange. gross. other people got snuggies. (i'm not saying i like snuggies, but the probability of me using a snuggie is greater than me using a cheese grater on my feet.)
awesome: talking to a kid's shoe saleswoman about the twilight book series last week. talking to a homeless guy about the very same twilight series today.
not awesome: working in a large retail center during the holiday shopping season
awesome: free coffee beverages and cheap food
awesome: playing kickball with the cousins on christmas day (lost by one run!)
not awesome: having one of those cousins give you the ped egg for a christmas present and not 'fess up to it. stupid gift exchange. gross. other people got snuggies. (i'm not saying i like snuggies, but the probability of me using a snuggie is greater than me using a cheese grater on my feet.)
awesome: talking to a kid's shoe saleswoman about the twilight book series last week. talking to a homeless guy about the very same twilight series today.
Monday, December 21, 2009
owned
i'm a slave to the man again, as an espresso monkey. no, really, tomorrow is my sixth day of work in a row.
which is why the blog has been lagging. hopefully i will get back on it soon.
which is why the blog has been lagging. hopefully i will get back on it soon.
Monday, November 30, 2009
raditude
oh weezer. your music always makes me happy and want to play in my car at high volume. rivers may be the most adorable dorky guy ever. conan o' brian also fits in that category. and joseph gordon-levitt.
broadway dance number. sweater vest. check. (i haven't even seen this movie yet.)
broadway dance number. sweater vest. check. (i haven't even seen this movie yet.)
this one time...
i went to my 15 year high school reunion over the weekend. the next morning i woke up feeling like i had two wine glasses too many, found that i had cracked my contact lens, and couldn't find my wallet. which makes it sound like i had a really wild night, which it was not - actual glasses consumed: 3, i have butterfingers, and i am more absentminded than i am a wild spender (i let my more successful, gregarious, and self-described borderline alcoholic high school buddy do the buying of bottles). so i just feel old and foolish.
in spite of my aversion to being extroverted, i quite enjoyed seeing people and chit-chatting. i'm glad it was in a low-key atmosphere and not a banquet room as if it were prom: the sequel. who knew that my hometown could have a happenin' wine bar? like many others who grew up in danville, i was convinced that this town was boring as hell. anyway, being 15 years out of high school is long enough to not really care anymore about what you were like in high school. there was some reminiscing over who we went to the prom with, and how one of our teachers would consume 4 diet cokes by 10 am every day, and our regrets over early 90s "fashion."
in spite of my aversion to being extroverted, i quite enjoyed seeing people and chit-chatting. i'm glad it was in a low-key atmosphere and not a banquet room as if it were prom: the sequel. who knew that my hometown could have a happenin' wine bar? like many others who grew up in danville, i was convinced that this town was boring as hell. anyway, being 15 years out of high school is long enough to not really care anymore about what you were like in high school. there was some reminiscing over who we went to the prom with, and how one of our teachers would consume 4 diet cokes by 10 am every day, and our regrets over early 90s "fashion."
pity party
wondering how long a streak of bad luck can go. latest casualties: my left contact lens (cracked), and my wallet (though i am hoping it is at the wine bar my high school reunion was at. no one is trying to use the cards. stupid place is closed on sunday and monday.) just sitting here sipping my airborne vitamin supplements.
season's greetings!
season's greetings!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
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