neuroses

well, i'm formally signed up for my memoir writing class. i've been excited, but today i hit the nervous phase of embarking on something new. the age-old worries, "will i be good enough?" or my personal favorite, "what if i suck?" at least these thoughts has come up and i have ridden them out to know that it is just fluff. one of the advantages of getting older and living life, i guess.

this week i have renewed my job search for a more permanent day job. i feel like other coworkers at this place are in a position of limbo, like me. and it is easy to stay in that place. so we'll see.

nevertheless, i still find value in this experience. it's interesting to see what the restaurant industry is like; i haven't been familiar with it before. i've seen a chef chop dozens of mushrooms while staring off into space - if i tried that i'd be missing a few of my fingers. this same chef has sauteed entrees in six different pans at the same time over stove burners with flames 3 -4 inches high. insane. once i saw the head chef and butcher chop up an entire lamb. waiters and food runners balance plates of hot food down the length of their arms. it's all a controlled frenzy, with everyone at their designated function.

my mom is in china. she's gallavanting around the country with her best friend from nursing school. beijing, shanghai, and hitting a resort southern philippines on the way back. nice to see her living it up. in the meantime i am stuck with the high maintenance cat and my dad, who is not so high maintenance. it's quiet around here. a little too quiet.