born into brothels

i've been renting movies from the library. born into brothels is a movie i've been meaning to see for a long time now. it certainly deserved the academy award it won in 2005. it was beautiful to see these kids' faces light up as they begin to see the world around them in different ways and tell their own story. as the express their thoughts on the pictures they took, it occurred to me that this was probably the first time they were able to express their thoughts and opinions and be listened to, and probably the only place that it happened. it is amazing to see how intertwined these lives become.

o, canada

rather than call attention to the politically incorrect holiday we recognize in america that recalls some lost sailors, indigenous people and the following years of oppression, i would like to wish all five of my blog readers a happy thanksgiving, canadian style. note the cornucopia. mmm... cornucopia.

advantages of canadian thanksgiving: less commercialism than american thanksgiving, it's on a monday so if you play your cards right you can have up to maybe 7 thanksgiving-type meals with different people, it's earlier in the year so that's kind of cool, and it's in canada. thinking of thanksgiving makes me immediately crave green bean casserole. and mashed potatos and gravy. i've always been way more into the side dishes than the actual turkey.

things i am thankful for: it is 79 degrees outside, friends near and far, and the yankees lost in the playoffs while the a's won (a's second baseman marco "mr. clutch" scutaro, dh frank thomas aka "large gary coleman" and pitcher barry "dreamboat" zito in particular).

i am glad to actually have lived in canada to celebrate thanksgiving there. sometimes i still expect to see the labels of stuff in french. mmm... pamplemousse. happy thanksgiving to those celebrating it today!

reunited and it feels so good

tonight i went to my friend natalie's wedding. i've known her forever - through the early stages of teen awkwardness, church youth group insanity, college hijinks until now in our mature adulthood (hah - whatever). the wedding was in her parents' backyard and i enjoyed the flashbacks in my mind as i drove over just like i did in high school. I remember going over there to watch movies, jump on the trampoline, or go on some late night mission to t.p. her house (or someone else's). and today i watched as she married this amazing man, and it was beautiful. i met ryan earlier this summer, and about 30 seconds after talking to him, it was exceedingly obvious to me that of course they should get married. it could've been that the three of us immediately talked about the simpsons. i'm very excited for this adventure that the two of them have embarked on.

i'm going to venture a guess that heaven will be a little bit like a really awesome wedding reception. reuniting with long lost friends, resurrecting old jokes, recalling fun memories, and laughing till there were tears in my eyes - i find few things more satisfying than this. i haven't laughed that hard in a while. plus there's free booze and small children dancing crazily. but seriously, picking up the threads of old relationships again was very good for my soul.

the hits just keep on comin'

this is how we roll in oaktown, baby. yahoo! i love baseball in october.

talk of the weather will do

my prespective gets all skewed. today was slightly overcast, clouds blowing through all day, the sun peeking through here and there. to my california eyes, this was a blah day. then i remembered that a day like this in vancouver = fabulous.

i wonder what else i see differently. this worries me.

Gilead, page 5

"It is an amazing thing to watch people laugh, the way it sort of takes them over. Sometimes they really do struggle with it... So I wonder what it is and where it comes from, and I wonder what it expends out of your system, so that you have to do it till you're done, like crying in a way, I suppose, except that laughter is much more easily spent."

your thoughts

when approaching the scripture, is it presumptuous to look for a "take-away" lesson? why or why not? what, if any, expectations should we have when we study the bible? (i went to another small group tonight as you can guess. there was beer this time, so that was kind of cool) i'm serious. comments, please.

was this something we talked about in seminary while i wasn't paying attention? shoot. i was probably checking my email.

green october

it's 10:30 am and i'm watchin' playoff baseball with my bro and grandma. milton bradley spilled coffee all over esteban loaiza in the dugout and everyone freaked out except loaiza. who names their kid milton bradley? no wonder the dude is such an angry player; he's been harassed about board games his entire life. let's go a's!

p.s. i'm wearing my "mcfavorite" baseball shirt that melanie and dan gave me for my going away from vancouver gift. except what with all these grey's anatomy "mcdreamy" and "mcsteamy" characters, i look kind of weird for wearing it. oh well.

wahoo!

(cue "we are the champions" by queen)

in this historic baseball season in the year 2006, my team, the springfield isotopes, emerged victorious in my fantasy baseball league. thus, i have earned major trash talking privileges over my brother, cousins, friends and random people from the internet that i have never met. awesome.

rock over london, rock on chicago

this past weekend was more exciting than most weekends have been lately.

i met up with eric and his high school pals in the city on saturday night for some karaoke. i refrained from performing, but they busted out spirited renditions of "bad leroy brown", "i did it my way" and "hey jealousy." only because of karaoke would these songs be mentioned in the same sentence. oh, and the beautiful duet "you don't bring me flowers." everyone else was dressed to be out on the town, because that's how you roll in san francisco even if you're at a dive karaoke bar. but the boys were dressed in what they wore to the giants game earlier in the day and i was pretty much on the same level. it made the whole experience that much more amusing. i seem to only like dive bars - they have more character and the people watching is much more entertaining.

afterward we headed back to the east bay for late night grub, cheeseburgers or pies. mmm... pie. and rolled into bed at 2:30 in the morning. which actually isn't too much past my regular bedtime, only i've usually been up that late because i'm reading a good book, not out carousing around town.

sunday night i saw these guys. sherwood - the hardest working men in the music business (no joke - it's hard work being a rockstar). have a listen to their music if you're hankering for a bit of summer in your day, their music will hit the spot. my buddy nate is the lead singer and bassist - we worked at camp together crazy summer five years ago (the concert was a perfect excuse for a mini-reunion). his heart is as big as his laugh and loves making music without having to attach the adjective "christian" to it. he and the guys live in the winnebago from road rules 10 - they got a good deal on it. it makes me proud to see friends doing something that they love. sherwood: they're so hot right now. check 'em out.

my favorite canadian-californian.

happy birthday wishes to jane halton, one of vancouver's finest. and i do mean FINE.

jane hits the big 3-0 today. welcome to the thirties, my friend. jane is a champion chickenfoot player (her inaugural victory celebration is at the left), a discerning burrito lover, and diet coke addict. for the sake of our friendship, i am willing to overlook the fact that she likes the LA dodgers.

full house

there are 10 people staying at my house right now. it's a bit crazy.
there's my immediate fam, my grandma, uncle and cousin (the two of them are here to get my cousin set up at school), and three of my brother's high school buddies. they're having a grand reunion. that means they play old video games all night (eric pulled to old super nintendo out of the closet), reminisce about high school and work as many popculture references/quotes into conversation as possible. and i thought i was pretty good - they can have a complete conversation based on simpsons quotes alone. it's hard for me to keep up. it's fun to have them around.

i've been reading a lot lately. just started christ plays in ten thousand places by eugene peterson. i'm realizing that i'll always be learning, that i always want to be learning regardless of wether i'm in school or not. i'm afraid of forgetting what i've learned at regent. i'm afraid i'll be smushed back into the mold that our larger consumer culture forces us into. the siren cry of money and materialism is strong. i think that is why i need community of people that share christ-like values, to stand together.

i rather feel like expressing myself...

a sign from the heavens

to avoid paying for parking at a's games, my brother and i usually park in the BART parking lot and walk over to the stadium. and we always drove by this house to get to the lot - it's been there for as long as i can remember. i noticed that it was going to be torn down, so i snapped a photo of it before the demolition. philsophize away about this handy evangelism tool/method.

it's just this regular house, i wonder how the owner decided to attach this message to the wall. i particularly like the flames adorning the word "hell." and perhaps the dish network system should also be associated with the dangers of hell.

hello, my name is...

tonight was the first small group bible study i've been to in a long time. all part of my new quest to get me some community - i wore a nametag and everything; i hate wearing nametags. didn't have any awkward small talk, lord be praised. i was curious to see how things would be, you know, post-theological education and all.

i've got some problems with how we do bible study - "we" being a general pronoun for the average church. let's go through a book of the bible, one chapter per week and make our best (largely uneducated) guesses at what the scripture is getting at. and with our western perspective, that means diving in from our contemporary viewpoint, jumping around to different verses, and immediately measuring ourselves against the passage. "do i live up to this passage?" (the answer: of course we don't, otherwise we wouldn't need grace), and so on. we were spending time in the word, but not really soaking it in so much. it had kind of a bull-in-a-china-shop feel to me in approaching scripture.

it made me appreciate the practice of lectio divina - of reading the word out loud, spending time in silence, soaking in the passage in a contemplative manner and letting it speak to us. and THEN sharing with each other.

i squirmed internally. i tried not to dominate the conversation. i know i know more than them, but that does not give me license to do my own bull in a china shop act. doesn't seem right to me. i'll go back, i guess. i want to meet people, after all, and be more involved at this church. this will not be my main source of intellectual stimulation, however. kind of a weird situation to find myself in.

sweet victory. finally.

ladies and gentlemen, your Oakland Athletics, 2006 AL West champs. it's about damn time. post-season, here we come!

me fail english? that's unpossible!

annoyed.

got another in-class exercise back in copyediting class. i haven't seen that much red ink since ... oh i don't know, high school ... no, grade school - ooh, i got it, one of my calculus tests in college (i got a d- in that class). apparently, i have no grasp of the english language. and i thought i had done well on it until i saw the corrections. my teacher isn't really big on encouragement. she sounds like marge simpson's mom. at least how i think she would sound.

seriously, i thought i was a grammar geek before. folks, i am being led into new worlds of grammar geekdom that i have never conceived of before - when to italicize, capitalize, use an apostrophe, insert a comma... blablabla. and i'm not really sure i want to go down this path.

i just find this really galling, you know, because i'm a writer. i love words. words are important to me. i know words.

i cursed during most of the drive home. 30 minutes.
i don't know. maybe it's a sign. writers have more fun.

i met with my spiritual director friend today. she lent me a copy of "what color is your parachute?" it's one of those really big job search books. check it - it's personally autographed to her from the author. apparently he lives in my hometown, and is christian and spoken at new college berkeley several times on vocation (she's the director of the school - think regent on a very small scale). and the book is all based within a biblical perspective of vocation. this is all news to me. i had it confused with "who moved my cheese?" i've actually read that one and though it was kind of dumb.

anyway, besides getting that book from her, she also lent me gilead by marilynne robinson which i've heard is very good. but i digress: our conversation was quite good. it's good to talk. and to be listened to. and to discover which ways God is calling me. feeling that tendency to let the job define me, instead of maybe the other way around. or something like that. sometimes the rest of life gets too loud for me to be able to think, and so it's good that i'm meeting with her.

sigh. i guess we'll see, huh?

future tense

okay vancouver homies...

i just got a wedding invitation from a good buddy of mine. the wedding is in seattle. in december.
since seattle is so much closer to vancouver than danville is, i thought i'd drop by. how's everyone's first week of december looking? i know most of you fools aren't in school anymore, so having finals is no excuse for at least one night at the wolf and hound for cheap pitchers of beer. or an occasion of this variety. (rice-firsts, please delay your departure from vancouver for a few days)

just thought i'd float that out there. this is a shameless attempt to get people to comment. here's what worked last time: grey's anatomy. there.

and - the a's LOST. AGAIN. (many swear words here)

indian summer

it's 90 degrees out.
what the heck?
i forgot that summer extends into october here.

also the stupid a's lost their stupid game yesterday to the stupid angels. so their stupid magic number is still 2. terrible playing yesterday - they looked like they were asleep out there. this does not bode well for the playoffs. at least i had one more chocolate malt with a wooden spoon before the season ends.

fake plastic trees

community. man, i haven't heard that word bandied about in a while. we used to say it so much at Regent that it really didn't hold much meaning for me after a while. sometimes the community there was cloying, much like spending too much time with your own family in a small space like on a road trip.

of course, in a school setting, community is served up on a platter. misery loves company to some degree - makes me think of the many times i've stayed up far too late at the last minute working on papers - at least i knew the weed was suffering along with me, or annie when we'd share a table and frantic looks on our faces typing our thesis projects. then we'd all go to the pub, or to mac's late at night for junk food.

and now? well now, i actually have to go out looking for community. the horror! not something easy for me the introvert. yesterday ashley had to serve in the prayer room after church and i loitered around for her before dinner. i haven't felt that self conscious about not knowing anyone in a long long time. i even had a brief awkward courtesy conversation with some well-meaning soul, and i wanted to run away. chalk it up to my social anxiety disorder (is that a real thing? i made it up one day and liked how it sounded). but then i talked to some people that had actually spent some time at regent, and their faces lit up with recognition. and that somehow was like a lifeline - i'm slowly realizing how out of community i am and how much i miss it. actually the whole service was quite encouraging in ways that i hadn't encountered in a while, not since i had left vancouver. for one, i actually agreed with their theology, which, you know, is nice.

mostly i was reassured to find having values and things in common with people that i thought i wouldn't be able to find quite so easily. which i haven't been able to find, and was afraid i wouldn't find; i thought maybe regent had made me more of an stranger in a strange land than i already was, being a christian and all.

the church is hosting this conference "jesus and evangelical power" and the speakers are from uganda, el salvador, cairo and calcutta. i'm quite impressed. voices from the majority world telling american evangelical where we're getting it wrong and getting it right. i'm looking forward to going.

this whole post-regent life is slow in coming together. i thought i had a strategy, only to have it turned upside down by my life coaching friend. which was kind of annoying, but good. i guess i pay her to do that. there is more than one way to look at something, which is a simple fact that i seem to forget a lot.

america's past-time

The Oakland A's magic number to clinch the AL west division: 2
*meaning that, at the game tomorrow vs. the angels, the title could be ours!
will i be at the game? yes
was i at today's game, hoping it today would be the day? yes
the nachos were subpar this time around. very disappointing.

also, i am 5.5 points up on the rest of the teams in my fantasy baseball league. what???? that's insane.

my thursday nights are booked

my new addiction. it's not very often that a show can make me laugh and cry from one moment to the next. yes, i have choked up watching this show; i am a sap. i have a crush on all of the characters.

but like jeff wrote, if you call me tomorrow, don't expect an answer.

kickin' it old school

so i'm rattling around in my old jeep cherokee these days. i try to drive as little as possible, but sometimes i just have to escape my house, so i feel like i am accomplishing something. and what do i listen to while i drive? well, the car just has a tape deck (remember cassette tapes?) and the most current tape in there is a mix tape comprised of "Spiceworld" the Spice Girls' second album. remember the spice girls? man, they had some catchy tunes.

but the most frightening thing is not that i am actually listening to it, but that I STILL REMEMBER THE WORDS to a lot of the songs. topping that, my middle brother can tell which spice girl is singing in each song. we liked them, but in a kind of ironic way, in that is was so easy to hate them.

my youngest brother is the one responsible for this mix tape (he must have been 12 at the time), which also contains such hits as "karma police" by radiohead,"we are the champions" by queen, "hey mickey" by toni basil, and a large part of adam sandler stand-up (lunch lady blues, etc.). it is the worst mix tape i have ever heard.

you are now supremely jealous to learn that I HAVE SEEN THE SPICE GIRLS IN CONCERT. oh yes. 1998. if you don't think that is amazingly funny, then i don't want to be friends with you. get off my blog.

people i like

a few friends celebrated birthdays recently. wish i could've been around to join the festivities for such cool people. why can't we all live on the same street in the same town anymore?

sara is now 29 years of age. sara enjoys donuts (boston cremes rule!) and mysterious german tonics but hates exercising in direct sunlight. she'll kick your ass in a game of "name that 80's sitcom theme song."






at 6'4", dave is exactly 12 inches taller than me. he likes banana-flavored liquer, singing in bars with blind piano players and drinkin' beer before systematic c class. he's got 29 years under his belt.



stevie likes using overly large appliances, "billy jean" by michael jackson and wearing flesh-toned shorts. he makes wicked good soup. i believe steve is 28.









i did not make up any of these facts. glad to know people like these, makes life far more interesting. happy belated birthday! this special post is in lieu of birthday presents, by the way. you can thank me later.

creativity: it's like squeezing water from rocks

i just chugged a pepsi beause i was having a caffeine withdrawal headache. now i will probably have a caffeine induced headache. you can't win.

well... i have editing class tonight. and i still haven't done my homework, which is true to my study habits. i have to confess that i'm not totally sold on this copyediting-as-a-career thing. perhaps it's that my teacher is less than dynamic. perhaps it is that we are in the most decrepit depressing classroom on the berkeley campus. perhaps it's that i took a bit of a beating on my first editing test and my pride is stung. perhaps this stuff is more exicting in actual practice than in description (say, like explaining each editing symbol). or perhaps i am discovering that i need more of an avenue to be creative than this particular job.

i finally read sleeping with bread. (hat tip to bw for telling me about the book). so i am trying to be attentive to what is life-giving and what is life-draining and why this is the case - hence the previous paragraph. it has been helpful in this whole limbo time. also, my life coach is helping me to visualize my goals and priorities; she is encouraging my to day dream about jobs i would like to have; which i think has never really happened before. yes, i have a life coach. she's quite good. i am also meeting with a spiritual director; she's also quite good. both have been former teachers of mine; i respect them both a great deal. i am glad to have voices of guidance and wisdom at this time.

my brother is moved in to his place in san diego ("which is german for a whale's vagina.") and about to start school. i am quite jealous (not about the school part), as i am in my old room in my parent's house which is still partly a storage room. it is frustrating not to have my own space in the way that i would like it to be.

next post: with photos! i promise!

the kids are all right

i've visited with some of my old youth group kids. in fact, it only took about 5 minutes for one of them to express a desire to punch me in the face. he really meant, it's good to see you again. being the midst of their hyperactivity is shocking but in a good way. it's fun to see how they've grown over the past 3 years.

played freeze tag for the first time in who knows how long when i babysat my friend's 2 boys. i thought i broke one of them when he asked me to launch him in the air off my shoulder. some things are best only attempted in the swimming pool. his younger brother kyle resisted brushing his teeth before bed with an act of civil disobedience; he curled up into a ball on the floor. i had exhausted my reserve of threats and cajoling, garrett offered to help. bending down close to his ear, he said, "kyle if you brush your teeth, i'll give you... money." kyle was off like a shot. garrett looked up at me, shook his head, and said with all the wisdom a 7 year old could muster, "works every time." after kyle rinsed, garrett forked over 6 cents. at bedtime, after i had wrestled them both through baths, i read them stories on the couch. sitting there reading "cloudy with a chance of meatballs" with two freshly scrubbed heads resting on my shoulders was a tranquilly perfect moment.

life is a highway, and i hate it

sitting in a car for 9 hours sucks my will to live. back in san diego, this time to drop off the youngest brother for the fall quarter at ucsd. kind of wierd, i've never had to do this before, being the oldest and all. i did the first things first. anyway, the weather has been strangely reminiscent of vancouver, being in the 70s when it really should be in the 90s. convert that to celsius yourselves, people. i'm in america now and don't have to do or care about that kind of thing. my other brother and i, still being jobless, are plotting how to become youtube celebrities or how to create some kind of internet rumor/phenomenon. that kind of thing could pass for a resume builder in these crazy days. wish us luck, and that our rickety well-used old cars get us to where we need to go.

back in the matrix

well, my computer is back (via fedex shipping, no less), with a brand spanking new hard drive. and because apple is apple, they threw in a new keyboard too - a lot of the letters on the keys had worn off. love that customer service.

technology is not the answer

today's public service announcement: backup all your data. seriously.

my ibook g4 is currently being shipped off to get the hard disk repaired or possibly replaced. bizarrely, the breakdown occurred right when i was putting in my new replacement battery - i thought that was the culprit, but how could a battery do that? after two visits in one day to the genius bar at the apple store, they sent it off. i should get it back in a week or so. it is strange to be without my laptop, but i think it will be a good break. fitting since i just picked up my first reading of wendell berry from the library.

i was pretty gutted when i thought i would lose all the files on my computer. all of my regent papers (for what they are worth). photos from the past year of life. luckily i was able to pull all that stuff off and put it on an external hard drive. that was close.

i'm looking for a mr. jass ... first name, hugh

i've been spending a lot of time at the library. because i'm now 70 years old and afterward i go for the early bird special at denny's. actually, there's nothing wrong with that. and the library is free, with many mind-enriching things since mine is slowly turning to mush. i put many dvds on hold and then check the website to see when i get them. and this book was on the main page. and i laughed and laughed. this author obviously never saw that particular simpsons episode. or got a prank call from me.

multimedia

here's another video from okgo. it's from one of their older songs. wish i had moves like this.

let's go a's

you know, sometimes it ain't bad being unemployed. if i had a job, i wouldn't be able to go to cheap ticket wednesday a's games. and the a's beat the rangers, 9-6.

tickets: $2 each. hot dogs: $1 each. (i consumed 2. bro consumed 4. dude's got an iron stomach.) i felt i was then justified to blow $7.50 on that there fat tire amber ale. reminds me of what i had to pay for a pint at dentry's after tax and tip - lame.

personal quote of the game:
(after seeing some guy's hockey t-shirt) "the nashville predators? is their mascot a creepy guy driving a van?"

bobbling heads

it's frank thomas bobblehead night at the a's game. my brother is going, but i have to go to class. lame!
i was invited to go to the game tomorrow, which is a dollar dog wednesday. mmm... cheap hot dogs. wait, ew. but i'm still going to eat them because they're cheap.

suffering a lot of angst about driving everywhere. the chocolate factory appears to be in great need of barristas, as the manager asked me to come in for a try-out on thursday, whatever that means. i don't know if being able to say i work at a chocolate factory is really worth the driving. i will hazard the public transportation though. in such a car saturated culture, the public transportation tends to be neglected. i'll give it a try.

apparently my people who know people in the publishing world have passed my name on to even more people. perhaps one of these days i will actually get a solid lead. in the mean time i will enjoy my items i just picked up from the library: step into liquid - a surfing movie, and christ plays in ten thousand places by eugene peterson. and that's how we do theology in california. speaking of which, i need to rename my blog. we all knew this day would come but it is sad nonetheless.

lethargy

a law of inertia: an object at rest tends to stay at rest.

especially when said object is me - i didn't leave the house today. but my copy editing class starts tomorrow. and i'm going to go see about a barrista job at a CHOCOLATE FACTORY. i mean, hello! a CHOCOLATE FACTORY! it's some old well known local brand; and there's a really nice cafe that serves lunch and dinner. here's hoping all that time i spent trying to pour a damn rosetta leaf at the well pay off. i've been craving chocolate lately.

the job search sputters along. the people who know people who know people haven't really panned out. time work on the inertia. i don't know though. while this time is hard, i am finding it valuable also. i'm still figuring out how my time at regent has changed me (something i suspect will continue to unfold and take on more meaning as time passes) and i feel lucky to have time to make decisions about how my life will take shape as i move forward. and about that future life? a priority is having a pub to walk to and lift a few pints with friends. because i really miss that.

comings and goings

when it's ungodly hot here, the powers that be decree a "spare the air day." to further encourage us not to use our cars unecessarily, all public transportation is free. my brothers and i took the BART into the city. it's always so much cooler on the other side of the berkeley hills. the air conditioning doesn't work in my brother's old benz - driving on the freeway to the BART station (kind of defeats the purpose to sparing the air, i know) it felt like we were in an industrial clothes dryer. horrible.

the three of us wandered around the city, ate sandwiches in north beach, and walked down a side street into chinatown. tried to manuver through the chaotic scene on the narrow and crowded sidewalk. they were unloading the fish deliveries to all the little markets. you know, the ones that have several types of fried animals hanging in the windows? the fish are still alive when they get to those stores; they must come straight from the docks. i looked up in time to see a slight chinese woman raise a huge mallet and repeatedly club a snapper that must have been at least 3 feet long. i could see its gills fanning in a vain attempt for oxygen. they fluttered like butterfly wings. and then it didn't move anymore. i scooted down the street faster.

i realized that i don't really know where my food is coming from. how different and visceral to see an animal slaughtered in front of you before dinner, than picking up a saran wrapped package from the row upon row of plastic at the supermarket. when i was house sitting with the chickens, i felt the warmth of freshly laid egg. my dad grew up on a farm. he seems happiest when he's puttering around in the back yard. he and my brothers are building a zen garden. i, on the other hand, have a black thumb.

and another thing, where does my garbage go? we get one large recycling container here, all the paper, plastic, glass, and metal goes into it. that means someone, somewhere has to pick through all of it and sort it all out. i went to the dump in vancouver when we were moving out of our house to get rid of all this junk we had accumulated. it was profoundly disturbing place where all the workers wore gas mask and goggles and your eyes burned from stench in this enormous warehouse. and it wasn't even the final resting place for the city garbage. it was packed into mack trucks and taken god knows where, probably some garbage barge out on the fraser river or some landfill out in the boonies where we wouldn't have to look at it. it's probably the same here in california.

yet i don't think most of the people in blithe suburbia are concerned with these things. food appears on a plate. stuff goes in the garbage and away. it's very clean, very convenient, and very detached from the realities of life and death and decay.

if they don't win, it's a shame

another day, another a's game.

this time i went with my pal ashley. next to my brothers, i've seen most a's games with her. good times. there are a lot of thing i miss about vancouver, but this isn't one of them - i absolutely love being able to see pro baseball on a regular basis again. the a's lost today though - stupid orioles. since it was a day game and i wasn't freezing to death like i was the night before, i partook of a summer baseball staple - malted ice cream. note the wooden spoon - necessary for the authentic flavor experience. i know, i only take pictures of food and drink now. there a few things that feel more summery than kicking back in a stadium seat, with the sun shining down as you eat a chocolate malt and root root root for the home team. let's go oakland!

however, i may need to detox now after 2 days of stadium food. whatever, it was worth it. happy fatterday from me to you.

friday night lights

i went to an a's game with my bro tonight - he scored free tickets. that means i had nachos for dinner. mmm... liquid cheese. the a's won, and it was a fan appreciation night, so they let us on the field to watch a fireworks show. which was then followed by post game hot wings (cajun and hickory bbq flavors) at wing stop, a new establishment by the coliseum. a good way to pass a friday summer evening, a la fat friday nights with the kelleys and may '06 grilling/nacho month. mmm... fat.

"my cat's breath smells like cat food" - ralph wiggum

at some point early this morning i woke up to our rather large cat, bosco, sitting on my back. bizarre.

i'm taking a copy editing class at the uc berkeley extension. it starts next week. all in the name of marketability. i'm hoping it's not a complete waste of time. i had this really awesome english teacher in junior high who drilled grammar rules into my head so i feel like i've got a bit of a leg up in that area. we'll see. it might be fun. and as things continue to be up in the air, i may as well continue being a student.

my brother got a macbook pro for school. i am drooling with jealousy. at least apple is giving me a new battery so my computer doesn't burst into flames.

most boring post ever.

do not try this at home

i've tried to refrain from posting youtube videos, but this was just too amusing to pass up. this is the band okgo's video.
this post dedicated to jeff kelley, a casualty in the war on treadmills.

in summation

bro's apartment: check
mexican food:
check
beach visit: check

a complete trip to san diego.

$2 taco thursdays

the way we unwind after a day of apartment hunting.
the bro watches the u.s. open.
i drink an enormous beer.

"south of the border, down mexico way..."

well, when you've got a clear schedule (read: jobless), that's a fine time to take a road trip. especially when your parents give you a gas card and food money. don't suppose i'll ever outgrow that.

for the geographically challenged, the map on the left will help. san diego is known for its plentiful taquerias, where you can wear flip flops 365 days a year, being the home of annie lam, and not being los angeles. my bro is transferring to ucsd this fall and i'm helping him find an apartment. like telling him it's not such a great idea to move in with 3 girls and making him ask about how much the utilities are. mostly we've been on the quest for good tacos, yelled at each other about directions and seeing how long we can stand having the heater turned on full blast with the windows rolled up. these are typical road trip hijinks.

we're staying at my cousins' house. we just went on a late night run and i bought my first-ever bubble tea. i had what my brother had a mango milk tea with boba aka pearls. there are too many names for this stuff. somehow i have avoided this tasty asian treat (pictured at left. try it hot or cold!) the entire time i lived in vancouver. tapioca balls - euugh. i have texture issues with food, and the gummy cold pearls were kind of weird. but not as unpleasant as i thought it would be. probably not something i will be ordering a lot.

tomorrow it will be more of the same stuff, looking at places, wandering around campus, harrassing the housing coordinator. driving back up north on saturday. the routine will the return to: wake up at 11, walk to library, surf the web, work on job stuff, walk to peets, order iced latte, read, walk home, watch various reruns of many shows. plotting how to convince everyone i know to start composting.

behind the curve

i know a lot of america already knows this but grey's anatomy? so good. shamelessly tugs the heart strings in so many ways.

also? i have been watching a lot of tv. but you probably already knew that.

moments

i continue in limbo. surprisingly, i am not as anxious as i have been in times similar to this. this is not to say that i am not anxious, i would be crazy not to feel it to some extent.

i'd say i'm still getting acclimated to being home. not just with things like it being over 100 degress sometimes. i have to drive everywhere. the times i have chosen to walk downtown from my house, i am the only pedestrian i see, besides people walking to their cars. when i look up to the hills, they are a dry golden brown, instead of a lush green. the amount of consumption appalls me; the traffic jams of hundreds of people, a solitary occupant in each car. it irks me that people don't recycle the plastic cold cups from starbucks. i am tempted to become like a vancouver binner and go through the trash cans.

i watch families gear themselves up for the school year. people here are too busy. they forget the there is a choice involved in what activities they undertake. it's all "keeping up with the joneses." gotta get into college, gotta do these extracurricular activities, gotta make mortgage payments, have good cars, look like the perfect family. i feel the pull and resist.

there are moments of blessing as i wait and think and consider my surroundings.
playing bocce ball in the backyard with a 5 year old, who cheats by taking a few steps closer EVERY TIME
glorious reunions with youth group kids, who are all a lot taller than me now
lingering lunches with old and wise friends
going to free concerts in record stores with my brothers

a convergence of images

scratching an itch that isn't there

sometimes you don't know you miss something until it's not there anymore. today i watched my friend register her kids for school, starting up next week. and i realized how different my time is now. the school schedule easily follows the seasons. time is sharply delineated: in the summer i have nothing to do; in the fall i have to start reading and once winter gets into full swing i am writing papers like crazy. that kind of routine. only now i'm not registering for classes, a habit from the last 3 years. and while i enjoy that freedom, i miss it a bit too.

little things like that strike a nerve of homesickness. out of the corner of my eye, i'll see someone that looks like someone i went to school with. or i'm watching a tv show and i realize that it is filmed in vancouver because of the mountain range in the background. i find myself watching the scenery more closely than the show itself, to see if i can figure out exactly where they are filming. i was the same way about shows or movies in washington dc - a strong sense of connectedness and nostalgia. back here in danville; i've been so used to driving to my friend katie's house since high school, i'm pretty sure i could find my way there with my eyes closed. what are places that feel like home to you?

old mcdonald had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

a momentous occasion

today, sienna kelley has been on the earth for 1 year. i, for one, am glad she is around. because it's just so darned fun to play with, shop for and take pictures of her. leave a comment here, or click here to send her some birthday love. happy birthday, girl! you're awesome.

you know what sucks?

waiting 4 days for the avocados i bought to ripen. i couldn't wait anymore, and cut into one that felt ripe today and discovered that it still wasn't totally ripe. i hate that. and i really want to make guacamole. blech.

on being a techie of a minor degree

while housesitting, i have a charger for my

-computer
-ipod
-phone
-toothbrush
-camera


no joke. i don't really "need" these things, but it's so "convenient" to have them.
what the heck.

summer nights

i almost drove off the road last night when i saw the moon. i forgot how the moon could be here, at this time of year. huge and golden, low in the sky, it seemed like i could just drive to the moon. when i think of summer, this is the vision that goes with it. made me believe that anything could happen.

foolishly, i always thought it was the harvest moon. silly suburban californian kid that i am. harvest moons are in the fall. i looked it up. there's a name for every full moon during the year. august is the corn moon. a slightly less cool name than i had hoped. oh well.

playing the waiting game here. which i'm mostly okay with, up to a point. gilmore girl reruns help.

funky chicken

time i spent unsuccessfully trying to corral one stubborn young chicken: the better part of 1 hour

time peyton, a seven year-old boy, spent catching said chicken upon arriving home: 3 seconds

one serving of humble pie, served up hot.

reversal of fortune

with every change, for good or ill, there is a loss involved. i remember how excited (and freaked out) i was three years ago, when i moved up to vancouver. i was moving somewhere new, facing new challenges, and looking forward to growing. at the same time, i was terribly sad to leave relationships and surroundings that were incredibly wonderful and formative for me.

three years... seems like the blink of an eye and an eternity at the same time. and i find myself feeling the same feelings, only now i miss vancouver (which hits me at odd times, usually when i'm watching tv and i realize that the show was filmed in vancouver because i can see the familiar mountains in the background) and the relationships there. i suppose i'm feeling it more keenly now, as the dust settles here and i realize that i'm hoping to stay around the bay area. the scenery is familiar, but i am feeling out how things have subtly changed here and how i have changed. this will come at me from odd angles and unexpected ways.

the language is different; perhaps not the big words from theological school, yet the underlying concerns, thoughts and needs are the same. sometimes i wonder why i had to go to vancouver and spend a lot of money while others seem to be learning the same things i have without going anywhere. but i rejoice to see that the kingdom of god is breaking in everywhere and that i don't feel totally alien to what is going on. and i look forward to connecting more and to living out what i have learned, once the details of my life have been filled in a bit. my loathing for cover letters grows each day.

in the meantime, i got a glimpse of everyday family life when my friends were home briefly between trips. rather than go home and then come back to housesit again a few days later, they invited me to stay with them. so i found myself on several mornings eating cereal with a seven year old boy who was clad only in boxer briefs, having my hair braided, and shopping for school supplies. i have a renewed and deeper respect for parents, especially after the trip to the mall for backpacks and new shoes. exhausting.

golden

today is the last day in my 20s. tomorrow is my golden birthday: 30 on the 30th! i'm looking forward to turning 30. to being more settled, being more at home in my own skin. anyway, that's what i'm hoping will happen. for me, the 20s were full of jangly nerves, fear of uncertainty and failure, and all the sorts of neuroses that plague you as you make your way into the world. not to say that they've gone away, i think i'm just familiar with them now, and can put them in their place. i find this upcoming decade to be full of possiblity, not the onset of old age. tomorrow i shall go to santa cruz with friends, ride the giant dipper (which i rode 4 times in 30 minutes with camp staff during 60 cent ride night for my 25th birthday. one of my favorite birthdays ever) and visit camp.

i am prevented from having a party shindig for the same reason as ever; it's summer and everyone is on vacation and spread out over the country. at least this time around, i didn't have to get lumped together on a cake with all the other summer birthdays at the end of the school year. in addtion, this allows me to spread out the celebrations. dinner with the fam wednesday night, lunch with a mentor-type on thursday, ice cream and a kick ass mexican food dinner with another mentor-type friend and her family last night. i'm milking this for all it's worth.

it's good to be home; i love patronizing some of my old haunts, walking in familiar neighborhoods. why, just on the way to this coffee shop, i passed one of the bars i went to on my 21st birthday. we got kicked out when i let one of my underage friends have a sip of my beer. my first beer, so the decision to share was not based on drunkeness, but rather naivete. silly. but i can say i got kicked out of a bar and seem as if i am somewhat dangerous/belligerent, for whatever that is worth.

rent on thursday night was pretty cool. the characters lost some of their mythic stature for me; as my friend bryce sang his heart out as roger, i couldn't help but remember him when he was in junior high and i was taller than him. those days are long ago. anyway, it was a great production. and a few of us waited outside the stage door trying not to look too much like groupies. the cast seems so much larger than life on stage; i was surprised to be standing eye to eye with the guy who played mark; and we walked with them to the BART station. the guy who played tom collins nearly jumped on me when a small hot doggy dog scuttled past us on the dingy city street, fleeing its owner; he thought it was a large rat.

some of the circumstances of rent seem dated now; the diagnosis of HIV positive is not the immediate death sentence that is was then. or is it? i wonder if the reality of AIDS is something we are just desensitized to now. still, as in many of the musicals i have seen, the yearning for connection and significance comes through with a clearness and and poignancy that takes one's breath away.

the chickens are turning on each other. it is quite annoying; perhaps they miss their owners. in the meantime, i do an easter bunny act and bestow fresh eggs on grateful friends.

well at the risk of inciting stalkers, but if you would like to send me cards/gifts/monetary donations/a pony for my birthday
send them to...

9 0 9 R i c h a r d Ln
D a n v i l l e CA 9 4 5 2 6

"that's where the leprechaun lives. he tells me to burn things." ralph wiggum

praise the lord, it's only 83 degrees today. i can go outside without feeling like i'm an ant under a magnifying glass.

i am re-learning the difference between being an introvert and being a hermit. only talking to chickens for a few days makes me kind of weird. especially when the chickens seem to like attacking each other. it is good to have lunch with a wise and encouraging friend and going to see rent tonight in the city. those that live in the bay area refer to san francisco as "the city." never, never ever refer to it as "frisco." "san fran," perhaps. but never frisco. perhaps it is too much like "crisco." ew.

also re-learning that getting a job isn't so much what you know, but who you know. thus, my friend carol today introduced me to a woman with experience in the publishing world, who in turn will introduce me to another woman she worked with who has more direct experience in editing. i'll have my people call your people. and so on. good to take stock of things and refocus my energies. and to have face to face contact with people as opposed to the face-to-computer-screen interaction i have had lately.

one of these sundays i will stalk anne lamott at her church in marin. if only to tell her how much i love her books, much less pump her for job advice. in the small christian world anyway, there's bound to be somone at church here that knows someone who knows her. that's much preferable to stalking her. less chance of a restraining order.

i read memoirs of a geisha in the 2 days i was immoblized in the heat. 2 thumbs up. daring to take up the pen again to write, after a much needed hiatus from writing for several months.

the rhythm of social interaction is much different from school. it's so centralized there, especially since there's only one building for classes. schedules are more flexible, with periods of down time or procrastination. back in non-academic life, my friends are spread out over the bay area. they have more rigid schedules (except for my teaching friends). there is a larger degree of intentionality involved, less crossing of paths by chance. searching for a routine. missing living on one street with friends.

respite

hey it's only like 90 degrees today. much cooler. bizarre to say that.

i think i'm tanner than i have been in the past 3 years up in vancouver. it's not that i'm outside more under direct sunlight, but more like i have been slowly baked to a crisp like in an oven. i think i've been averaging drinking 3-4 full nalgenes a day. (how you like that for a water challenge, katie brown?)

the temperature dominates my thoughts and activities (or lack thereof). even with this current heat wave that is causing power outages, my main impression of californians upon my return is that they know little of hardship from the weather. it's just written on their faces and laidback manner. not necessarily a bad thing, it's just interesting to notice after being away.

the chickens are funny, though not great conversation partners. they are not as agile as i had previously thought chickens to be, and are pretty easy to catch, with the minimum of squawking and flapping. i don't know how rocky had such a hard time catching them in the movie.

i continue writing bland cover letters and polishing my resume. there's this secret code language to these things that i have never learned very well. you know, using words like "supervise" and "implement" or whatever. blech.

hot damn

110 degrees. double dammit.

damn

107 degrees. dammit.

hot time, summer in the city

so, i'm living in the US, in california and in the suburbs. kind of a triple whammy of excess, car dependence, and consumerism. i miss walking everywhere, though i'm sure if i tried that right now, i'd evaporate before i got a mile.
i wonder how i will hold true to my values and things i learned at regent and manage to get by. because those things seem at odds a lot. then i read this article. and it gave me some measure of hope here in the suburban wasteland.

wandered around with the bros in san francisco and in berkeley today courtesy of BART - all fares are free on designated Spare the Air days. it's at least 15 degrees cooler on that side of the hills. berkeley is pretty close to being my favorite place on earth.

off to hang out with the chickens tomorrow. visualize the scene in rocky when mick forces him to chase chickens as a part of his training. but not until after i watch the time trial of the tour de france. go floyd go.

still hot hot hot

today i rode a razor scooter to the neighborhood pool. i looked like hansel from zoolander. "that's hansel - he's so hot right now."
i borrowed it from my little friend kyle; he rode his bike. we went with his brother garrett and their mom marybeth. i've known both of the boys since they were teeny, and their mom since i was in high school and she was my youth group leader. it's fun to be spending time with them again. not to mention that it was amazing to jump in the water.

it's not that i don't like how warm it is. it's that i've become a total wimp from living farther north. guess i'll go out and eat 30 burritos with fresh guacamole tomorrow. don't laugh - i could totally do that.

a sight i will never get tired of for as long as i live: watching the fog roll over the hills into town. it means the end of the heat wave... i'm still waiting for it to arrive.

hot hot hot

i repeat, it is too hot to live. my mom passes most afternoons by going to the library because it is airconditioned there. i went once but i had to fight for a plug for my laptop. not so fun.

passing the time with a fierce tetris rivalry with my brother. i currently have the upper hand, with a score of 171227. yes! he always beats me, which makes me angry.

fortunately i am housesitting starting this weekend, so i can be more productive. whenver i am in my parents house, i fall into the black hole in front of the tv for hours at a time. i have watched more of the tour de france than i ever have in my life. at least i picked an exciting year to watch it. anyway, i'll be watering plants, reading on the patio, and taking care of 6 chickens. 3 full grown hens, and 3 baby chicks. looking forward to some good rest and reflection. barbecue party at "my" house this weekend. i'll even fry an egg on the sidewalk for you.

what's grosser than gross?

in this corner:
the kfc bowl: a generous serving of our creamy mashed potatoes, sweet kernel corn, bite size pieces of all-white meat crispy chicken, topped with our homestyle gravy and 3-cheese blend.
and in this corner...
the taco bell crunch wrap supreme:
a warm soft flour tortilla filled with seasoned beef warm nacho cheese sauce, a crunchy tostada shell, cool sour cream, lettuce and tomatoes and the wrapped up and grilled for maximum portability.


when did "maximum portability" become acceptable words to describe food?
maybe i've been watching too much tv, but that shit is just WRONG. can i get an amen?

kick off your sunday shoes

something guaranteed to make you smile even after you have to start your job search all over again: seeing footloose the musical performed by a bunch of 12-14 year olds. my friend's roomate runs a summer kids theater company and this was their production. i was quite impressed with their production. i mean, they are young enough to even have missed when the 80s was retro cool.

update: when i got home that night, what was on tv? that's right, footloose the movie. best day ever.

sad

i like to think that i'm not ruled by money. but when i sat down to calculate my budget with the offered salary, it became very apparent that it was not very wise financially to take this job. i kept thinking about it and tinkering with different scenarios, and it just wasn't coming up any way that made me feel better. and i had to turn it down.
now all that is left is for me to sit here and second guess myself.

sigh

negotiations still in process. this ordinary life stuff is kind of hard.

however, i have rekindled my addiction to tetris.

in process...

well, it looks like i'm going to be a michigander. okay, i can't believe i just typed that. my head is spinning. i know that all five of you that read this blog have been waiting in anticipation of the verdict.

the visit went well, and i enjoyed the city of grand rapids. it has midwestern charm. not that i actually know what that is. i experienced more hospitality and explored the town a bit, and had a cheddar dog at yesterdog. (picture forthcoming, nate and dave)

the company itself is small, family run and independent. which has its advantages and disadvantages. but overall, i was excited about the job.

i am in salary negotiations. what the heck? i don't really know what i'm doing. other than make them make the first offer. so i guess once that's all straightened out (if anyone has any advice about this stuff that would be great. i've ben looking up cost of living stuff and all that and it only makes a little bit of sense to me. say, lower cost of living there = lower salary. i'm trying to understand if i can live off the salary i will most likely be offered. this stuff really makes me feel nauseated.)

here i go again

july 4th was overstimulating. i haven't seen such fervor, well, since the last 4th of july i was in america. besides that, i had a good time catching up with more old friends. we drove to santa cruz, one of my favorite places on earth. ponderosa lodge is full of wonderful and crazy memories. going there makes me take a deep breath and relax. it was needed.

i'm going to michigan tomorrow. MICHIGAN! TOMORROW! insane. job interview craziness. the rest of my life appears to be happening, a lot faster than i like.

waiting to exhale

well...
i have been home for approximately 5 days. in that time i have managed to

go to an a's game. they lost to the diamondbacks. the diamondbacks, people! atrocious.






go to a wedding in napa. beautiful. fun. lots of old fun friends to catch up with. lots of parents of friends that i haven't seen since high school, who after giving me the parental 3rd degree about my life, then proceed to get sloshed and freaky on the dance floor. now, that's just weird.

get into a disagreement with my dad. this is par for the course. hopefully i will learn not to react with my teenager reflexes. "i hate you and i wish i'd never bee born!" well, i didn't really say that, but it was in the same spirit. sigh.


eat mexican food twice in one day. i know you're jealous. so so so so good.

i am still quite overwhelmed and wondering how to find a quiet and refreshing moment in the midst of all this. tomorrow is the 4th of july and i don't know how i will handle the uber patriotism. especially coming from understated canada. oh canada, how i miss your general apathy. last night i went to church and the first thing i saw was the welcoming power point slide with the american flag on it. yikes. and, after attending an anglican church off and on for the past few months, the electrically powered worship band was a bit much. i feel like rip van winkle, unfrozen caveman, or a reawakened coma patient, take your pick. so many buildings, and cars, hey look, the mall!! the mall simultaneously lures me to buy things and my skin crawl at the same time. holding to my principles becomes a bit unrealistic. for example, i have to find health care. dare i sell out to the man and get a job at starbucks the corporate giant simply because they include benefits? how am i to survive? it seems wrong to me that health care should be beyond what people can afford. canada, i miss your socialist ideals and multi-colored currency. i want to scream when i see how much people are throwing away here, and feel powerless to stop them.

right, so i have a bit of culture shock. i am prepared for more. tomorrow i shall catch up with an old camp friend and go to said camp. conservative evangelicalism ... i will probably be holding my tongue on more than one occasion. on thursday i shall be going to grand rapids, MICHIGAN to see about a job. big doings going on. currently still undecided about this whole business.

people that have been emailing me: i will personally email you soon. my brain hurts.

immobile

i can hear the click-clack of the sprinkers outside as i type; one of the sounds of summer. it's weird to be home. however i find it much preferable to the 21 hour train ride that i just endured. after living somewhere that rarely went higher than the mid-80's in temperature, and hell, used celsius, i feel like i'm in an oven (or a crematorium, i saw one of those at the mortch. while in use, no less. yikes).

right. so i'm home. i'm brain dead right now, so a more substantive post will follow, detailing the 21 hours of my amtrak experience. with pictures. my own computer will not connect to the wireless here so the technical issues will hopefully be resolved soon. or i will be sitting in another parking lot outside of a cafe. let's hope it doesn't come to that.

getting back on track

8 days ago, i was playing wiffleball in the park and eating ice cream sandwiches with dear friends. 7 days ago, i left vancouver, my home of 3 good good years.



today, i'm sitting in the parking lot at the amtrak station of eugene. i'm tired of spending money so i am leeching the wireless signal from a nearby coffee shop. the train is going to be at least 1 hour late. this is not what i bargained for, but then again, i didn't think i'd end up taking a week to travel from vancouver, bc to berkeley, ca. it has been random and glorious, so the train delay just seems to fit in with the whole tone of this trip. i am pumped for my 15 hour train ride.

it has cooled off here, so instead of floating down the willamette river (which i shall return to do someday) we hiked mount pisgah. sara drank chunky beet juice. she was disgusted with the texture and threw it away.i had a breakfast burrito, but it was not so good either.. really, are breakfast burritos ever a good idea?

eugene reminds me of santa cruz minus the beach and with more white trash. like dudes with def leppard t-shirts and long hair that is shaved on the sides that is tied back into a greasy pony tail, circa 1992. in spite of that description, and the intense heat, i rather liked it here.

this funny trip has me more at ease with the limbo state of my life. like wherever i end up, i'll land on my feet, i think. i will encounter hospitality and good times as i have in the past few days. but i also look forward to my own bed and old stomping grounds.

digression, part II

still in eugene. another night in the mortch (that's slang for mortuary, for those of you not in the know). jumped in the river this afternoon and then had a dairy queen dipped cone. summer perfection. i took 3 showers today, plus the river dip. it's still hot.

i delayed yet again because, it's summer and i have little tying me down right now. and i get to see katie brown (katie likes coffee, her husband derek, and coffee. she doesn't like starbucks, bad knees, and starbucks.) in eugene tomorrow.

i'm going home tomorrow night, i swear. then the nothingness can set in. i kind of need a break anyway.

it's getting hot in here...

i'm in eugene, oregon. in the middle of some kind of insane heat wave. upper 90s. 100 degrees when i arrived. it's almost too hot to live.

i'm also staying in a mortuary this evening. that's right, a mortuary. my friend lives in an apartment above the place for super cheap rent in exchange for minor cleaning chores. now, heat wave and higher elevations don't mix, so her apartment is absolutely suffocating. so we are camping out in a "arrangements" room. in the mortuary. where dead people are. well, not in the same room, but somewhere around here. i'm not looking for them.

it seems a bit fitting. eugene is a funny place, where the teenagers loiter outside the library. the first restaurant we went to for dinner had a chilled raspberry soup for the dinner special (sara suggested that it should be served in a bread bowl, like a kind of terrible jam). we ended up at karaoke night at a local dive. she sang whiskey in a jar by metallica - this song makes no sense at all. i sang here "i go again" by whitesnake. the clientele was awesome. and by awesome i mean, freak show. apparently, she will soon be trained to be a karaoke dj. that fact alone makes me want to move here - when it's not so damn hot. anyway, the beer is cheap, the company great, the temperature nearly unbearable.

tomorrow evening i board the train for an all night extravaganza back to the bay area. i am losing my zeal for amtrak, because i had to ride the bus the whole day because of track repairs and they "lost part of the train." no big deal but if i have to ride the bus tomorrow at all, i will absolutely lose my mind.

that's all for now. tomorrow i will loiter at sara's coffee shop (the allan brothers something or other) and catch up on the rest of my life. peace out.

but i digress...

a few things you should know about me or maybe you already do: i'm a sucker for a free meal.
i enjoy spending time with friends, no matter the activity (most of the time). i used to be a cheerleader. that last one is actually a lie. i know, hard to believe, isn't it?


thus, i found myself hanging about in bellevue for the weekend to help katie and james move into their home in west seattle. i would say it is new, but in actuality, it is only new to them. the place itself is so retro, it's amazing. the kitchen is pink, as you can see here. katie says the kitchen makes her want to make pot roast while wearing pumps and pearls. james is a builder, so he's going to have renovation projects coming out of his ears, and he is quite excited about it. there are enough to keep him occupied for the next several years, but when he's done their house will be so awesome it will be on mtv cribs. anyway, it's fun to work hard and help them settle in and have some laughs and meals together. it eases my transition from place to place.

as we drove back and forth with loads of items, we kept passing this sign on the freeway and it gave my heart a twinge each time i saw it. a homing instinct, perhaps? love to my homies in canada.

derailed

well, the slow journey southward has ground to a halt for a few extra days in seattle.

there's no place like home

It’s the first day of summer and I am heading south. Farmland, livestock and leafy trees are on my left. The sunset and salty cold waves of the Pacific are on my right – this is my scenery for the next few days. I will take pictures of myself, eat bad snacks from the "bistro" car and watch cheesy movies (today's feature was "failure to launch" which wasn't so bad, it's the least sarah jessica parker has annoyed me; but considering buying cheap dvds from target), visit with friends, mourn my departure and prepare myself for what is ahead. leaving my home that is not my home anymore to my old home that is not really my home either.

i look back over my shoulder to the north and miss it already. Seasons come and go. And so, with the beginning of this summer, begins a new season of life. No more classes, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks... Uncertainty, possibility, and opportunity lie ahead of me. I feel like an uprooted plant, albeit one that has grown and thrived in the damp and rich Vancouver soil.

the lyrics, they speak to me

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?

-"Once in a Lifetime", Talking Heads

somewhere over the rainbow

"... it wasn't a dream - it was a real live place.

You were there.

And you were there.

And you were there, too.

I remember that some of it wasn't very nice... but most of it was beautiful." - Dorothy